


Rainbow Bandages

by BenPlattsTreePictures



Category: Avenue Q - Lopez/Marx
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Awkward Kissing, Awkward Sexual Situations, Awkwardness, Bisexuality, Canon Gay Character, Cuddling & Snuggling, Falling In Love, Fluff, Gay, Homoeroticism, Homosexuality, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Love, M/M, Mutual Pining, Oblivious, Pining, Secret Crush, Sexual Content, Sexual Repression, Sexuality Crisis, Squabbling, True Love, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-03
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:41:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 23,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23462623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BenPlattsTreePictures/pseuds/BenPlattsTreePictures
Summary: Rod deals with an unhealthy and abusive relationship with Ricky. Whilst Nicky has developed a love for Rod,  stronger than ever before. Rod and Nicky are safe together; will they discover their feelings for one another?
Relationships: Kate Monster/Princeton, Nicky/Rod (Avenue Q)
Comments: 20
Kudos: 34





	1. Platonic Butterflies

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Taking The Nicky](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21018839) by [twonkout](https://archiveofourown.org/users/twonkout/pseuds/twonkout). 



> **Contains reference to sexual harassment 
> 
> I know people feel uncomfortable with reading it so skip towards the middle if you really wanna read the rest!!!! Love you, my buds 
> 
> This is my first time writing Nicky/Rod fanfic, I've only ever been drawing it!

Cursively jolting his hand upwards and downwards, on the thick set of lined pages, the shiny haired ginger writes into his diary - as the dork he is. Yet, it wasn't about Nicky this time, like it always is. Rod was very hurt, and extremely upset at the moment - all he can think about is his traumatized mood.

> _'I can't look at myself in the mirror. I'm ashamed. I'm so ashamed. Yet, on some days, I feel so gorgeous and even damn right handsome - today is far from one of those days. My eyes drenched with tears, my heart racing like a marathon runner, and my legs quivering._  
>  _I am currently in the bathroom, hiccuping and crying, holding myself together as Nicky is in the next room. I can't help but weep, and yell, and feel sick and curl into a ball. I keep hurling but can't bring myself to throw up - it's like my body is punishing me. I am already punished enough by this stupid... I can't even call him a person. I can't even bring myself to call him a sentient being._  
>  _How could a person ever do this to someone? It hurts so, so much. More than anything._
> 
> _Today, Ricky, Nicky and I were sitting in the living room. Ricky and I were on the couch and Nicky was perched on the floor, being a blessing as usual. God I love him. He's so cute, and he can't help but be so friendly to everyone. His fluorescent, admirable green skin ; the adorable, enticing and damn right handsome smile ; the cute yellow button nose... Anyway. Enough gay tangent, I can feel myself sweating. He always seems to make me feel better. Even if I'm in a huge mess of a state - like I am now. Just THINKING about him makes my heart sing, my lips curve into a grin, my eyes beam and I feel whole. Instead of feeling like shards of a glass freshly smashed against a cold wall, each shard whispering cracks onto the walls, and never saying sorry._
> 
> _Back to the situation..._  
>  _Nicky was watching television, as usual, being the bright baby he is. Ricky took this advantage to test me to my limits and in parallel took advantage of me. He grabbed me, and stroked me, and I didn't want it, I really didn't want it, I felt so, so disgusting yet he did it over and over again - I felt myself freeze and my body go numb, and all feelings faded. Even if we were both still fully clothed, i really just didn't want him touching me right now. I sat there, nonchalantly expressed, my hands quivering and my eyes emotionless. I sat there, my eyes screaming for help "PLEASE STOP, PLEASE STOP" they echoed, but nobody could hear me. Nicky turned around, and I almost felt like crying out and screaming "GET HIM OFF OF ME" yet I sat there._  
>  _I sat there._  
>  _Nicky didn't notice, thankfully. And Ricky decides to stop testing me. I promised myself that this was the last straw. But it wasn't. I can't help but force myself to stay with this disturbed and outright disgraceful garbage man named Ricky. He's threatened my life at the moment, and I cannot lose Nicky.. It really would finish me off if I lost my little green pal. I just wanna go home. And by home, I mean into Nicky's arms. Nicky's embrace is my home. '_

Rod starts softly crying onto the page, tear drops splattering onto the ink, his cheeks blushing a purple from his weeping. He slowly hugs his legs, his glasses nearly tilting off of his face when suddenly -

"Rodddd? Buddy? Rod, where arreee you?" Nicky belts out, noticing his friend isn't in his bed, where he should be.  
"Don't make me come find you and tickle your tummy, till you're giggling your little heart out!"

Rod's heart flutters, like a gliding butterfly whipping her wings through the amiable clouds.  
"Nicky, I'm... Just peeing. " Rod lies softly, wiping his eyes very quickly. He pulls his sleeves down abruptly, and stands up, slamming his diary closed.

"You're not, Buddy. If you were peeing, I'd hear you because you pee like a waterfall!" Nicky chuckles out softly, and knocks on the bathroom door.

"Stop talking about me peeing, Nicky, gross.. " Rod blushes embarrassedly, and admires Nicky's silliness and innocent behaviour.

"What's the matter, Rod, you sound like you've been cryin', buddy!? Gee, well... If you have been crying then you know what that means... "

"I haven't been crying.. Well... Uhmm... I just had a bad dream... I.. - what does it mean if I have, Nicky? " Rod questions with gentle tone, pressing his hand against the door, desperately wanting Nicky's touch - his green, stained hand against his own blue, clean palm.

"It means that Nicky is gonna have to shower you with his kisses and cuddles!!" Nicky opens the door, and opens his arms out very lovingly,  
"Don't make your best buddy hug you till you're gasping for aiiiirrr!"

' _I'd much rather be gasping for air doing something else in bed-'_ the ginger sinfully thinks to himself. Then Rod blushes very profusely, staring down at his buddy with an extremely flustered look.  
"Personal space, Nicholas, you know I.. -"

The taller male is interrupted by Nicky's intense grip around his buddy's waist, pressing his face against Rod's chest with neverending adoration.  
"Don't bullshit me, Rod, I know you want my sweet lovin'.. "

Rod starts gently sobbing as Nicky holds him, feeling very loved, and hugs him back tightly, embracing him with all of his might,  
"Stop being so silly, Nicky... "

"There, there, buddy... Please don't cry. Please.. " Nicky holds him closely and closes his eyes empathetically, rubbing his back.  
"Rainbows.. Are visions.. And onlyyyyy... Illusions... And rainbows have nothinggggg to hideee.. ♪" Nicky starts softly singing out 'Rainbow Connection' from the Muppets.  
"You like that song, Rod, come on, sing with me!"

Rod feels very comfortable, and hiccups as his breath hitches - his body shaking slightly from all of this crying he's been pursuing.  
"So.. We've been told.. And some choose to.. Believe it.. ♪" Rod hiccups out delicately, sniffing and gripping onto the back of Nicky's shirt. He feels very peaceful now.

' _Nicky please.. You're so cute.. So delightful.. So enticing. Your body pressed against mine... It makes my heart pound hard. It makes my body tingle. Especially you know where. And you KNOW that nobody else does that to me. Well. You don't. But I wish you did. Oh god, Nicky. You make me feel so sexy when you hold me like that.. '_ Rod falls into a little daydream after calming down from Nicky daintily singing into his ear.

"Better, Rod? You're not shakin' anymore... Why don't you come to bed? I can read you a good ol' tale from my mind. One about a tall ginger blue investment banker who is the most adorable man ever alive and who deserves happiness and a cleaner roommate! " Nicky smiles widely and happily, pulling away from the embrace, staring up into his eyes.

"Everything you said is true... Especially the cleaner roommate part.. " Rod jokes softly, and smiles down at him.  
"You didn't go leaving your clothes out across the bedroom floor again, did you now?"

"What do you take me for? Someone who knows basic hygiene? Gosh, _NOOOOOO_ , buddy!" Nicky cheekily replies with a child-like grin.

Rod pats his head and pulls away before things start getting heated from being so close to him,  
"Well I guess your tall ginger blue investment banker, who is the most adorable man ever alive is going to have to clean up for you, hm, bud?"

"You bet! " Nicky chuckles out bashfully. Rod smiles cutely back and gazes endlessly into the others soul through the gateway of his eyes.

Nicky's heart feels weak, and it pounds like a drum in a heavy metal band. His legs fall vunerably weak also, his chest starting to fluster butterflies. His best friend always seemed to make him feel so damn good, happy, and satisfied. He had a real urge to smooch Rod's lips tightly against his own, to show him how much he really did love him. He was his best buddy and deserved to know his eternal love for his tall blue friend.

"You're blushing there, Rod, do you have a fever?" Nicky comments with a concerned tone, furrowing his eyebrows. He brings his hand up smoothly, and amiably presses his palm against Rod's forehead.

Rod immediately becomes embarrassed, feeling himself heat up at this exchange in touch. Oh god, he really did love the touch from his best friend, even if his hands were dirty and grubby - and even though Rod was such a clean and organized person, he couldn't help but admire and have so much amorousness for this touch. He just wanted to lick and suck every inch of Nicky's hand- _'SINFUL THOUGHTS, AHH'_ Rod screams inside his head, his face heating up more at these delightful and lustful thoughts. He seemed to have a lot of sexual tension with his close friend.  
"I don't have a fever! Ah- Nicky, just-" He moves away from the green shorty, looking in the other direction. He can't help imagine tasting Nicky, even if it was just his fingers. He found this very kinky.  
"I'm completely okay! Let's just go to bed, and you can tell me your stories and what not, Nicky!" Rod flusters out in embarrassment.

"Oh okay, buddy! Just lookin' out for ya." Nicholas smiles in admiration. He found his buddy so adorable.  
"Bed time it is then!" Nicky grabs Rod's limp hand and pulls him diligently into their bedroom.

Rod is completely so awe-struck at his crush, feeling his heart bounce, and pulsate harder and faster, his blood rushing so quickly around his anatomy.  
As they arrive at their beds, Rod lays down on his own, groaning slightly as he places his diary into a drawer. Nicky follows the ginger to his bed and sits next to his best buddy, gazing down at him with his glimmering eyes,  
"you shouldn't let a bad dream get to you, Rod, they're only dreams.. " Nicky coos softly, taking Rod's hand into his own, holding it with the utmost gentleness.

"I know, Nicholas... " Rod keeps more quieter than usual, gazing back up at him. He feels so very in love with his sweet, naive, and compassionate buddy, as he always has done - ever since college.

Nicky stares down at Rod and they share a silence together. Yet, it wasn't awkward - as they were simply gazing into each others eyes. Rod tried to conceal his smile but his lips immediately curved into a wide smile, really admiring Nicky's... **EVERYTHING**!

Nicky chuckles delicately as Rod's lips quiver knowing that he can't help himself either - feeling a widened expression of happiness be plastered on his own face.

Nicky finds himself leaning closer to Rod inch by inch.

Rod sits up slowly, as Nicky leans closer and-

They both start kissing roughly; Rod's arms tightly wrapping around Nicky's neck.

The smaller green buddy holds onto Rod's waist, feeling desperate for his best friends affection - but not in a gay way, no. He just wanted to express how much he cared for him and loved him, and that was it. Yes.

Rod becomes uncontrollably desperate for his buddy, pulling him on top of him on the bed, breathlessly kissing him without thinking about his actions. He really wants this so badly.

Nicky swirls his hands down Rod's waist, trailing his hands down, and furthur and -

"SQUEEZE! " Nicky chuckles out as he pulls away from the kiss, squishing Rod's backside in his palms.

"NICKY YOU GODDAMN PERVERT- I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU-" Rod's face flushes a bright blush and he shuffles a little backwards, now back into reality. Oh god it all hit him. He just kissed Nicky so passionately and they exchanged saliva and Nicky even squeezed his goddamn ass! Rod feels extemely and unbelievably flustered.

"Hah! Gee, Rod, sorry! I just like teasing you is all, buddy! " Nicky giggles out gently and maybe blushes a little too, realizing how sexual this was becoming.

"Never speak of this again, Nicky! Okay? We were just being friendly.. And uh it was just two buddies having a little fun! Okay? _Okay_?" Rod turns slightly to the side, being overly embarrassed about this whole situation. But oh god he enjoyed it so much.

"Yeah! I know, buddy! I was doin' it because we're best buds anyway! " Nicky innocently remarks with a soft tone, being the naive fellow he is.

"Gosh, Nicky, just.. Goodnight, have a good sleep, agh!"

"Sure will, Rod, buddy! Try to have dreams about me instead of nightmares~"

"Nicky, you **are** a nightmare!"


	2. Aggrevated Ginger Tea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **contains mentions of sexual harassment, and darker themes
> 
> But also romance between our favourite buddies Nicky and Rod  
> I really want to develop the romance between them with very little angst,,,  
> SO HAPPY TIMES GUYS!!!

Rod gently parks his toosh onto the ground of the living room, holding his faithful diary in his grip, his eyes closed as he listens to the echo of silence in the room. It really frightened him ; the sound of Nicky's voice was always seeming to be present in their comfortable apartment. Even if Nicky did seem to get on his nerves, the fact that he was there to be able to get on his nerves made Rod feel safe and loved - as insane as it might sound to others. Rod really admired Nicky's presence and thought that it really was just a blessing to be around someone who was perfect in every way, inside and out. Rod keeps replaying the sweet memories in which they spent together contiuously inside his head, feeling his heart well up. He really just needed Nicky's embrace so, so everlessly. The ginger would do anything right now to just hold Nicky's embracing, compassionate and grubby hands - they made him feel something nobody else ever could in his life: love.

Love was a concept Rod has always struggled to grasp within his lifetime, and his struggle to articulate the meaning and the core aspects of this abstract noun. Nicky was his real first experience and his last, hopefully. He never desired to love anybody else apart from this adorable, small man ever again. He was in complete devote to him, his heart and soul truthfully was Nicky's for forevermore. 

The embrace of their lips in which they exchanged together the night before really made Rod feel a varied and substantial amount of emotions - ranging from the warm fuzziness to the pure lust deep within his heart. 

> _'Oh, Nicky, why must you always do this to me? I try and repress all these deep desires and thoughts - but really, when i repress these emotions, it does absolutely nothing. It doesn't do a thing because my everlasting desire, my amorousness, my admiration, my adoration and my lust for you will never be put to a halt. You seem to be the only one who can make me feel all of these wondrous and intimidating emotes. Although sometimes I wish I never had them, quite frankly, I wouldn't survive without them. That's something I have come to terms with, at least._
> 
> _Maybe I am still in deep denial for you sometimes, yet I know what is true and what is not. My love for you is definitely true. Nothing else is more true. I felt like writing a sonnet or a poem, maybe even a song, because you truly do make my heart sing and harmonise. I really wish I could just say all of these phrases and confess my love for you; I can't lose what I have for you though. So I will just keep them bottled, just so you can stay within my life. Being apart from you is the worst. But being a part of you is the best. See what I did there? A play on words. You would've loved that...'_

Rod writes into his diary as if he's really speaking to his beloved. Having this tone made things better to cope with and he merely wished he could just whisper every last word softly into Nicky's beautiful, awaiting ears.

> _' I feel imprisoned and truly feel as if escaping is impossible. Ricky keeps doing uncomfortable acts that make me feel so, so small in this cruel world. His touch is the absolute worst and I constantly flinch, even if he isn't meaning to be threatening at that moment - I can't help but just be so, so very intimidated and petrified at this individual. His muscles and body aren't attractive at all in any way, shape or form and they only provide fear for me. He looks like Nicky, yes, but he really isn't Nicky. Not in the slightest. Nicky is perfect... I can't think of a word better fitting! Because he really is. Even if he is grubby, messy, annoying, loud - all of that makes him into the perfect green little buddy he is. And I am in complete awe at him all day, every day. I am... As much as I hate to admit it... So so so so so so endlessly in love with him. And it's completely inevitable. He's so irresistible-'_

Rod is interrupted by Ricky's touch onto his shoulder, and Rod instantly freezes, but immediately shuts his diary. 

"You're always writing in that book, Rod. And then you hide it from me. Are you concealing something?" Ricky kneels down slowly and sits beside the ginger, glaring at him. 

"No, no-no no.. " Rod stutters out nervously, tilting his head sideways to hide his fearful expression. It's unusual for Rod to act this way since he's mostly assertive and stands up for what is wrong. Yet now, he feels ultimately powerless. 

Rod clears his throat, "No, Ricky. I just like keeping my writing to myself." He mumbles softly and quietly. 

"Don't you love me anymore?" Ricky asks with a sly tone, shuffling closer to the male. 

Rod immediately feels uncomfortable, his distress levels raising through the roof, "Me and Nicky kissed last night!" The ginger yells, unable to keep himself together anymore. 

"What-?! Why, you- ROD- I can't believe-"

"Ricky, I.. I can't be with you.. I.. You're.. You're awful! You use me... You're horrible... You're disrespectful.. You're evil.. " Rod starts holding his own arms, standing up immediately. 

"I'm.. Oh gosh.. " Rod starts hyperventilating, finding it difficult to breathe. His breakdown now turns into a panic attack at the thoughts of the consequences he might have from Ricky. 

"ROD, YOU SHOULD HAVE ENDED THIS SOONER- I-" Ricky starts screaming out as well, standing infront of Rod, getting real pissed. 

Rod freaks out simultaneously, starting to cry loudly as Ricky yells at him, feeling extremely vunerable. 

"Stop crying.. " Ricky speaks quieter, and lays his hands on the smaller's shoulders. 

"Don't touch me. " Rod grits his teeth and moves away immediately from Ricky. "I'm leaving, I'm leaving..." He pushes past him and rushes out of the door with instant instinct. 

The ginger banker fears the response from Nicky, not wishing to alarm him or tell the embarrassing truth of what happened between Ricky and Rod. It was humiliating. He never wanted to think about those times ever in his lifetime. He knew he'd have episodes where he'd have uncomfortable and disturbing flashbacks - but he vowed to himself that he would never let the horrific events control him. 

Rod always did enjoy the outside however, he really did admire the sweet simplicity of the outdoors. The blue to royal purple ombre that glimmered in the sky ; the clouds that whispered through the mountains, into the sky ; the birds that articulated harmonizing melodies and-

"HEY BUDDY!!! What are you doing out so late?! " Nicky yells from behind him, grabbing onto Rod's shoulders, 

"OH FUCK ME JESUS- God sake- Nicky-!" Rod immediately jolts to face the other, staring at him with a pouty expression, "don't scare me like that, you cretin!" 

"you want Jesus to fuck you?" Nicky grins. 

"NO! It's an expression. It means I'm angry at you, Nicholas!" Rod groans out lowly, and crosses his arms with fury. 

"Sorry, buddy! Didn't mean to scare ya! Don't be angry with me, Rod.. " Nicky stares up at him with a sorrowful gaze, holding his own hands together, 

"Fine!" Rod simply states, blushing at how easy it really was for him to forgive his little buddy. "I was just walking back home, Nicky. What are you doing walking out by yourself?" 

"Walking back home? I thought you were hanging with Ricky.. "

"Yeah, well. No. Not anymore." Rod rolls his eyes, staring to the side with anguish, "We are just... Two different people. Enough said. You didn't answer my question."

"Awww, buddy- well. There's plenty more men out there for you - And I was just poppin' out to go get more food, Rod. We're running low!" He whines softly, and steps closer to Rod, hugging him slowly, wrapping his arms gently around his buddy's body. 

Rod started to feel ultimately hot, and bothered, biting down on his bottom lip. _'Nicky, why do you do this to me? Oh gosh... You make me feel so many emotions. I used to think being gay was sinful... But it really isn't. How could something 'sinful' feel this pleasurable?_ ' The ginger melts into Nicky's touch. 

"Why are you hu-" Rod is about to ask but then is interrupted. Nicky's hand swivels onto Rod's backside and Rod starts sweating profusely, feeling sensationally excited- except-

Nicky swipes Rod's wallet out of his tall buddy's back pocket, and pulls away, 

"Ahah!! See, now you have have to take me out to go get food!" Nicky grins widely, with a cheeky tone. 

_'WAIT TO RUIN THE MOOD, YOU ASS-GRABBING BAFFOON-'_ Rod groans lowly and pathetically, furrowing his eyebrows disappointedly. "Okay! I will, Nicky... - What's your obsession with my behind?"

"well, whenever I touch it, you always say yes to anything I say." Nicky winks directly at his flustered buddy, obliviously not linking this reaction to Rod being gay for him. 

"..." Rod's face blushes heavily, and he gazes to the side bashfully. Being confronted like this made him so, extremely embarrassed. 

"..." Nicky gazes upwards at him, smiling innocently, and bouncing a little up and down, awaiting for Rod's response. "Hello, Rod? Earth to Rod?" 

"Nicky, we'll just go to the shop! Come on." The ginger grunts embarrassedly, grasping onto Nicholas' arm, yanking him in the direction of a corner shop. Nicky follows along willing, holding onto Rod's arm - as if he was afraid. Maybe the dark did give him the chills. 

As they enter the shop, Rod stops at the first isle, sighing out softly. He really just desired to go home, and watch Nicky sleep, or maybe even watch a movie with Nicky, or maybe start cuddling Nicky, or kissing Nicky- _'gay thoughts... Please leave. I'm trying to be civil.. '_ Rod pulls himself together a little, attempting not to collapse into a daydream. 

The ginger crosses his arms with ease, "Right, go find some things you want, and come back to me when you have all the items. Don't pick too much out, okay? I wanna leave." 

"Okay, buddy! I'll be back in a dash within a flash and then you'll have the cash!" Nicky gestures towards his beloved buddy fingergunning him as he articulated his naive rhymes. He then wanders off. 

The ginger rolls his eyes instinctively, although he finds his short buddy to be so damn adorable. 

~5 minutes pass~

"Jeez, Nicky, we can't be that short on food..." Rod mumbles softly to himself, checking his phone for one moment, looking at the time ' _23:19pm_ '. 

"Hey." 

Rod glances up from his phone, and stares at the lady who just spoke to him. She twizzled with her pink-tinted locks of her hair, as Rod twizzled with why the heck she was speaking to him. 

"Hi? Uh. I'm probably not the guy you intended to speak to?" Rod slides his phone down into his pocket securely, and awkwardly looks at her. He felt slightly uneasy as he didn't really like speaking to strangers incredibly much - unless they were clients. 

"Oh you are. I'm just awfully lonely right now." She steps a bit closer to him, holding her hands together politely. She swayed slightly from side to side, being bashfully nervous. "My name is Laura, sir. My boyfriend recently left me for another woman. I'm a bit down on my luck. I just want someone to just have a chat with. Even if you're just a stranger." She giggles. 

Rod clears his throat, raising an eyebrow inquisitively. "oh... All right." He finds himself just simply agreeing to this form of social interaction.

"so do you... Do you have a girlfriend? Heh." She blushes slightly, not wanting to seem as if she's desperate. 

"No. No!" Rod shakes his head in disagreement, "Why would you even ask that?" 

"Because you're hot."

Rod feels the atmosphere flutter into awkwardness, realizing what this exchange in conversation was _really_ about. "oh. Ahem. Well. Thanks but-"

"I bet you're bigger than my ex..." Laura starts esculating into an exceedingly obvious sexual talk. 

"Aha. Lady, it wouldn't matter if I am because I'm not into that sort of.. No... I.. " Rod's awkwardness increases, accelerating rapidly.

"We don't have to go straight into that stuff-" Laura insists softly-

"RODDDD!! " Nicky treads back to his ginger buddy, grabbing his best friends hand delicately, holding it tightly in his own. "I've got everything. I paid for it as well, since I had your wallet."

Rod flusters immensely, his heart pounding aggressively as if it were about to explode corrosively. "Nicky, don't be so loud.. "

Laura stares at the two and chuckles a bit. "Oh I see, now. You don't have a _girl_ friend. You have a bo-"

"Nicky, let's go. " Rod pulls Nicky instantly, but cautiously out of the shop ; not wishing to be completely outed in front of his dear buddy. 

"Who was she?" Nicholas questions in a perplexed nature, jealous of the fact that Rod was talking to someone who seemed interested in him romantically. 

"Nobody, Nicky. She was just asking for directions. "

"Oh!" Nicky's naive and obliviously constructed brain refuses to question Rod and he believes him. 

"When we get home, Rod, we can talk and do anything you want! To make you feel better, buddy."

"I'd love that, Nicky."


	3. Amouring Nature

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Contains saucy parts!!! 
> 
> There's a type of tension between the two. It's not anger. It's not awkwardness. Maybe it's a different type of tension?

Swiftly, with no doubt about it, Nicky sits himself directly and closely next to his seemingly nervous buddy. The brunette did not seem to catch onto the atmosphere of Rod's anxiousness, awkwardness and lovingness radiating from him. Rod was seriously perceiving this whole situation to be incredibly difficult to control ; holding himself together and resisting seemed to be his main focus. Yet, all of these sensations were excelling in their outright power.

"Well, buddy." Nicky firstly begins in a soft tone, turning slightly to face Rod whilst he munches on the food Rod made for him lovingly. "I think we should talk about how you feel since your ol' friend isn't really your friend no more, if ya get the jist." Nicky insists as gently as he can, gazing up at his buddy with the utmost love and compassion.

"Nicky - it was nothing. Nothing was between us, okay?" Rod growls lowly, really not wanting the moments now be affected solely by past events. "We weren't in love, Nicholas. Love is complicated. Just because I went on a couple of dates doesn't mean I'm in love."

"Easy there, Rod... It's okay. I won't talk about it no more, all right?" Nicky wraps his hand slowly and with care around Rod's own hand, staring down at their intertwined fingers, their palms pressed delicately together - embracing every inch of their pastel skin. 

Rod feels his heart flutter like a feather swaying off of a bird's velvety skin, whipping through the crashing trees - gliding through the fresh, warm air. "Nicky, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for being mean to you - not just today or anything. I mean as a whole. Every time I was mean to you, just know that I am completely sorry for it. I never meant to h-" 

"Rod! Rod, it's okay!!" Nicky raises his voice slightly to stop the other blabbering on in a soppy tone. He didn't wish for his best friend to feel so bad, when he, himself, isn't the bestest of roommates or buddys. "Listen, Rod : We have our squabbles but I still love you, buddy. I promise."

' _Oh, Nicky, you have no idea how much I love you, god dammit'_ Rod smiles submissively to the others affection, nodding in agreement to Nicky. "I love you too, Nicky. You know..." Rod clears his throat awkwardly, "I've always ... wanted to know how you... like... uh- how should I put it? Like, how you really feel about me? Heh, you don't have to answer but I mean like- how do you feel about me, in detail?" Rod's embarrassment rises expondetially, his cheeks blushing profusely. 

"Well, buddy. Hah! Well. You're really kind to me, because even if I am being annoying or messy or loud - or any of that, you still choose to be with me and be my friend. You treat me so lovely, and you help me out a ton - especially because I am broke and jobless. I really do respect you for going out every day to earn money and provide for us, it really makes me so, so darn happy. You're also very adorable, Rod, and it's cute to see you get so excited or whenever you smile. You're so extremely compassionate - even if you're a grumpy buddy sometimes, you do help others out - like Kate, Christmas Eve, and especially me!! Gosh, Rod, you do help me out an awful lot! You're a real gentleman, you truthfully are, because you just treat everybody with the utmost respect and with sensitivity. You embrace your feminine side and I really do admire how sensitive you can be. Like when we are watching a romantic film and you start sobbing softly at the love! You also do everything for me : the chores, you clean up, you run me baths, you throw away my rubbish, you comfort me, you love me, you care about me and you're always there for me. You are also very handsome, Rod, an absolute pleasure to look at. Well, there's plenty more I can say about you, Rod, but I feel like I'm blabbering on a bit, hah." Nicky waffles on with an endearing voice, gazing dow at their hands still, feeling a little flustered since he spoke so much.

Rod stares at him in awe and pure disbelief. He was not expecting his buddy to say so many heartfelt compliments from the heart with such amorousness and sweetness in his tone. " _Oh_ , Nicky.. " the ginger really needs to cry from all this happiness and love, but holds it all in. "Oh, Nicholas, you are such a sweet man. The sweetest. You're seriously my bestest buddy. There's nobody like you-" 

Nicky leans forward quickly and pecks Rod's lips, moving close to him, holding onto his shoulders. "Let me show you how much this buddy loves you, pal!" The brunette whispers to his redhead friend with softness. 

_'NICKY, YOU HAVE NO BOUNDARIES-_ ' Rod blushes immediately, staring at him, sort of speechlessly. Sort of. "You're being a bit friendly there, Nicholas... "

"Well, duh! I'm your friend! Bestest friend! Of course I'm going to be very friendly." Nicky leans even more closer to Rod, their lips almost touching against each other, Nicky's warm breath presses against Rod's own shaky breath, _'shaking_ ' because Nicky is so damn close to him.

"Nicky, do you ever understand what you're doing?" Rod whimpers mellowly, his heart thumping harder than a pair of drumsticks slamming onto the drum surface. He felt as if he were going to completely lose control for his desirable buddy ; The love larger than life itself, pondering wishes and desires, only for his long-term, oblivious best friend.

"Wha'do'ya mean, Rod? I know what I'm doing, bud..." Nicky speaks back in a inquisitive tone, leaning even more closer to Rod, literally micrometres away from eachother, his hands slowly adventure down to Rod's waist and he holds him ever so closely. "Just trying to make you feel better - with affection!"

"Nicky, do you know what 'friendly' affection is?" Rod starts sweating lustfully, and lovingly, leaning backwards an inch due to the fact that Nicky was making him feel a little too excited. 

"Rod, I'm not stupid..." Nicholas pouts at Rod's comment, and got a bit annoyed when Rod moved back since Nicky found no wrong in wanting to express his everlasting adoration for his bestest friend in the whole convulsing galaxy.

"I never said you were! Listen, you just have to learn uh- the difference betwee-" Rod gently advises to Nicky before he is abruptly interrupted by his buddy's motivated leap on top of him ; the ginger's face beaming a desiring blush as his best friend is perched on top of him, his mind and heart falling into a crazy sprial of emotions. "NICHOLAS-!" The red-head calls out, groaning at the intimate embrace from his supposed buddy.

"You talk too much, Rod!" Nicky groans right back at him, perched up on top of his buddy on his hands and knees. "Besides, now I can shower you with all my lovin'! Okay?" 

Rod DOES NOT want to be submissive. Hell no! No way! _'I'M TOTALLY NOT THE BOTTOM HERE, NICKY, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD EVEN ASSUME THAT-'_ The ginger can't make any eye contact with Nicky at all. This all was too real now - Nicky was going to give him all the affection and Rod was going to get overly excited and ruin it all! "Nicky, I...- uhm-" Rod can't even form a proper, articulated sentence. Okay, _maybe_ he really did want to be a bottom to Nicky. _Maybe_ he was just hiding it so he wouldn't be judged. Okay, not maybe - **definitely**.

"Stumblin' on your words a little, bud? You've done too much talking any way! Let me just make you feel better, Rod! Please, I love you, you're my best friend and I want you to be happy. Just... if you're not okay, you can speak up. I won't take it personally, okay?"

"mmhm..." Rod flusters out immensely, not wanting to openly be so submissive - it was embarrassing but he really did actually find so much pleasure in it.

"Not much of a talker anymore, bud? Hah." Nicky leans down with ease and kisses Rod's lips with gentleness only, nothing too saucy since _'this was just two buddies making eachother feel good'_. 

Rod immediately smooches him back, grasping the back of Nicky's shirt with his arms amiably wrapped around his buddy's torso. He becomes almost breathless into the kiss - desiring plenty more than this _friendly business_ nonsense! With a timid nature, Rod opens his mouth slightly, symboling to Nicky to take some spicier actions within the warm embrace of their lips. 

Nicky tends not to notice hints or obvious facts as he's quite slow with finding secrets or knowing when someone wants something from him - yet his _'gaydar'_ was very active, and he picked up certain signs from people. Yet, with Rod, he only ever knew that he was gay - not gay for Nicky, himself. Besides the point, Nicholas didn't notice Rod's hint at sharing a more devoted kiss, wishing to make things a bit more _steamy._ Instead, Nicky made sure their kiss kept clean and sweet - tasteful and polite, endearing and admirable.

Rod became increasingly tense at this lack of submission from his own buddy and decided to pull away from the kiss slowly, breathing out a bit heavily. "Nicholas- you..." He sighs out blissfully, really desiring to tell Nicky how much he wants to do to him, so badly. 

"Right! That's it! YOU'RE GETTING TICKLED, MISTER ROD, HAH!" 

"AGH! NICKY NO- DON'T YOU DARE-" 

Nicky jolts his hands down to Rod's waist and tickles him roughly ; Rod starting to laugh with an uncontrollable nature. Rod kicks his legs up and down frustratedly whilst being tickled to death , as Nicky is sticking his tongue out in mere concentration when a sudden-

"FUCKING HELL FUCK- FUCK IN THE SHIT- FUCK CUNTING SHITTING-" Nicky yelps out in pain.

Rod had gave him a thwack on the balls by accident with his foot.

"Oh my gosh, Nicky- I am so sorry-" Rod immediately feels immensely guilty and purely upset, completely empathetic for his dearest buddy. "Oh gosh! Nicky, I will help you please, oh gosh, I really didn't mean to- it's just that it's uncontrollable, Nicky, I can't control myself when I get tickled." 

"It's okay, buddy-" Nicky squeaks out softly, smiling a bit to reassure him, although he's screaming internally at the precisely, exceedingly torture of pain he was experiencing. He sits up, groaning lowly.

"oh my gosh, Nicky, no it's not okay." Rod sits up immediately, and, rather stupidly, grabs onto Nicky's manhood without thinking, only wanting to help. "is it okay?"

"Rod, buddy." Nicky feels himself become heated. "Rod, I know you want to help and everything - and believe me, you do help. But I don't know if giving me a blowjob is really going to fix the situation at the moment."

"what..?" Rod realises his actions and simultaneously panics, blushing profusely and obviously, squeaking in embarrassment."I DIDN'T WANT TO GIVE YOU A DAMN BLOWJOB, NICHOLAS!!! SO INAPPROPRIATE!! I WAS JUST- TRYING TO HELP- I-" 

"By grabbing my dick through my pants-?"

"AGHH! NICHOLAS- YOU'RE SUCH A PERVERT!!" Rod stands up instantly, "I'll get you some ice! Jesus! You're a perv!" He rushes out of the living room, in the speediest dash ever. 

~3 minutes later~

Rod has calmed down copiously, grabbing the ice pack from the freezer with warm intent, breathing peacefully. He steps back into the living room and drops the ice pack on the floor, his whole body feeling as hot as seeping lava, spinning down the groove of the volcano.

Nicky is naked from the waist down.

"Nicholas. PUT YOUR CLOTHES ON, I AM GOING TO SCREAM!!" Rod covers his eyes with his hands, their ice cold embrace on his face making it excellingly difficult to hold them there - plus he really, really wanted to look at Nicky.

"What, Rod? This is _OUR_ house, come on! We can be naked if we want, who cares? We're buddies!"

"Nicky, I don't just walk around butt-naked in this house! So neither should you!" Rod flusters increasingly more.

"Yeah but I'd wouldn't mind seeing that, Rod, you're cute and-"

" _NIIIIICCCHOOOLAAASSSSSS_!!!" Rod whimpers out embarrassedly, "Nicky, you have no idea!"

Nicky smirks and decides to tease Rod, finding him adorable, "Calm down, Rod! Look, it's not going to hurt you. Unless I put it ins-"

"DON'T YOU EVEN FINISH THAT SENTENCE!"


	4. Secret Serene

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Nicky admits a huge secret
> 
> So glad you came this far! It takes me roughly 1-3 days to write these so sowwy for the wait

Delightfully, after the awkward night beforehand with Nicky getting nude and Rod having to force him to wear clothes - there seemed to be absolutely no negative tension between the two. Honestly, situations like these happened all of the time, and Rod, as much as he hated to admit it exceedingly loved them. He loved these awkward situations because at least they gave him just a smidge of hope that Nicky had deepened, enamouring emotions for him.

Besides that, Rod began to make his best buddy some breakfast - bacon and eggs since Rod was not in the mood for cuisine or anything spectacular. It was nice to have something plain and simple once in a while, instead of trying to over-do things, quite compulsively, as Rod did.

"Nicholas, it's done - don't complain about the eggs being runn-" as Rod turns around, he stares at the appropriately dressed, slick-looking Nicky. This is the first time in a long period of time that Rod has seen Nicky looking so presentable - instead of looking like the adorable, messy little pal he usually does. "Damn, Nicky, are you going somewhere?" Rod asks, a bit nervously - actually finding Nicky to be extremely attractive right now.

"Uhm. Yeah! Hah! " Nicky flusters a little bit, rubbing his arm with nervous passion. "Just going out to talk fo someone. That's all." He simply states with a soft tone. "I'll be back before 2pm, okay? I just need to.. I just need to do something really badly."

"Is there a reason why you've actually decided to make yourself look clean today?" Rod chuckles light-heartedly, oblivious to what Nicky is going out for.

"Yeah! Yeah, actually. I don't want to look like a damn mess when I do what I'm going to do, hah! That'd ruin my chances, you know, buddy?" Nicholas sits down at the table calmly, though he's feeling sensations of cold nervousness exfoliate in his tummy.

"Oh. Are you going to go get a job?" Rod sort of jokes, maybe hoping Nicky would say yes since the ginger wished to cut down his hours ; as cutting down his hours would mean much more time for them to be together after they both work.

"No, buddy, hah, sorry for getting your hopes up. " Nicky jokes with gentle intent, starting to eat his breakfast with ease - yet not feeling as hungry due to his anxiousness springing up.

"Well, what is it then, _Nicky-wicky_?" Rod asks delicately, sitting down at the opposite side of the small table, close to Nicky a bit since he leant forwards with a slight movement. He leant his head on his hand in interest, resting his elbow on the table.

"It's embarrassing... But I suppose I have to tell you since you're my best friend. And I know you'd tell me if you had the same problem with somebody. " Nicky reaches over and lays his hand ontop of Rod's assuringly, smiling a little at him.

Rod doesn't lean on his hand anymore and sits up straighter, staring down at their hands shortly, blushing with loving intent. _'He doesn't mean what I think he does, does he?'_ Rod looks upwards into Nicky's eyes and smiles back slowly.

"You have feelings for someone, don't you, Nicky?"

"Yes." Nicky blushes more, keeping eye contact with Rod.

Rod holds Nicky's hand as they stare at eachother, and he beams in joy. _'The day has finally come! Oh my god!!!! I'm gonna scream!!'_ Rod feels so intensely happy. This moment couldn't have been any better. Nicky admits his love for Rod as they hold hands and stare into eachothers eyes.

"Oh gosh, Nicky! Is it somebody who you're close to?"

"I'd say so. We've been friends for a long time." Nicky laughs slightly and smiles more.

 _'OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD!!! I LOVE YOU SO, SO MUCH NICHOLAS!!!!'_ Rod obliviously thought, smiling more and more as well.

"Just say the name already, Nicky!"

" _It's Kate!_ "

Rod clears his throat, his smile fading pretty quickly. Oh god, this hurt like hell. It really did. It immensely did. He felt sick. His heart was smashed broken. A million tiny shards.

"Well, damn, buddy, thought you'd be happier to know!" Nicky raises an eyebrow at Rod being silent.

"I am! I am happy for you. Just feeling a little sick, is all." Rod takes his hand away, standing up.

"Oh! Sorry, buddy, I'll get some medicine when I go out, Rod, okay? " Nicky immediately stands up and rushes to his buddy, holding onto Rod's shoulders.

Rod grunts, "don't touch me, Nicky. " he starts feeling a bit pissed in anger.

"What, buddy? Sorry." Nicky steps a bit away from him. "You want to be alone? You're not usually like this when you're sick."

"Shut the fuck up, Nicky, you don't know anything!"

"What? Rod, what are you on ab-"

"You just fucking manipulate people by being so friendly and stupidly cute, and you don't realise the effects you have on people! You don't realise what's right in front of you at all! You're so fucking stupid, Nicky! You don't care about other people at all! You don't realise who really cares about you and loves you and you just expect people to do everything for you! You're jobless, you're messy, you're annoying and you're loud, and yet I still am your buddy, Nicky! I can't believe y-" Rod starts yelling out, not actually meaning anything he's saying, just yelling out all of his repressed anger all in one go.

"Rod... " Nicky starts crying heavily, shaking a bit, "please stop... Please.. I can't listen to any more." The brunette whimpers out in a distressed manner, ducking his head down in complete shame.

"Nicky.. I.. " Rod feels so incredibly bad, and steps backwards slightly, feeling more sick. "I'm so sorry.. Listen, I didn't mean any of it, I'm sorry.. I.. I'm so sorry, I love you.. "

"but it's true, isn't it, Rod? I am all of that, buddy.. It's so pathetic.. " Nicky feels himself deflate in emotion, starting to weep out louder. "I'm horrible, Rod. Especially to you... Oh god.. " Nicky opens his eyes slowly and stares at the rather pale Rod. "No wonder you get so mad at me... No wonder you can barely tolerate me.. "

"Nicky, none of that is true.. " Rod insists, feeling his heart break more, "Nicky, I am just feeling a bit out of my mind, okay?! Please, I didn't mean any of it, Nicholas. I love you, I promise. " Rod holds onto his own stomach, feeling progressively more and more sick.

Nicky keeps sobbing loudly, his arms shaking as he does so, staring at Rod, "why did you say it then, Rod?"

Rod covers his own mouth and vomits into his hands by accident, it all coming to him so quickly. He stares back at Nicky, coughing slightly, and finding it all to be majorly disgusting. He feels so repulsive.

"BUDDY!" Nicky wipes his own eyes very quickly and his breath hitches, but he tries and brushes off his own sadness, wishing to help his best friend immediately. "Oh, Rod. Rod, buddy, I'm sorry for stressing you out so badly. " Nicholas holds Rod's shoulders and sits him down on the chair. "I'll take care of you buddy-"

"I'm so sorry, Nicky, I'm disgusting... I'm so sorry.. I really didn't mean any of what I said earlier! I treat you like absolute shit! I'm really sorry!" Rod starts sobbing softly.

"It's okay, bud, really it is... I promise.. I love you, okay?" Nicky cleans up the vomit from the floor with a mop and sprays some air freshener around, rushing over to his bestest buddy. "Please, calm down, okay? I love you, Rod. I'm not upset.. "

"I love you too, Nicky.. I promise, I never meant anything I said earlier. You're a really lovely and genuinely kind guy, and you're just so compassionate, you don't manipulate at all. You make me so happy, I promise and I love everything about you, okay? You're absolutely beautiful in every way and you always are such a sweet man to me and I'm an absolute fool for ever saying anything negative about you in the slightest, okay? I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I promise I am so sorry, you are my best friend, Nicky, you really are-" Rod sobs gently, feeling his heart break as he watches the other take care of him ; he feels as if he really should be taking care of Nicky since he was so darn aggressive towards him.

"It's really okay, Rod, please... I love you too, buddy... Thank you for saying such kind things.." He whispers softly to Rod, cleaning up his buddy's hands with smooth, caring movement. "you need a bath, Rod... It's all over you, buddy. Come on, Rod.." He gently advises to the other, putting an arm around Rod and picking him up from the side, but letting him walk himself as he thought Rod did not want to participate in any form of affectionate embrace. 

"okay, Nicky..." Rod stands up slowly, and holds onto Nicky, feeling extremely shaky and drained. "I feel weak, Nicky..." 

"I know, bud... you didn't eat this morning."

"how can you tell that then?"

"you threw up liquids, Rod, not food..." Nicky sighs out heavily, and takes him with ease to the bathroom, letting him sit down onto the side of the bathtub.

"so, you're interested in Kate?" Rod changes the subject immediately, not wanting to talk about himself anymore since he just found out his one love is attracted to somebody else - somebody completely different.

"I guess, Rod. I don't know..." Nicky hesitates a lot, "I am confused, Rod."

"confused about what, Nicky? You don't have to hide anything from me, okay? I won't judge you, I promise..."

"It's complicated. You see, I feel the same way about Kate as I do to you, so maybe I just see her as a best friend. Because I want to kiss her and love her just as i do to you, but with you - It's friendly and it's because we're buddies... So maybe I just wanna be long-term buddies with her as well-"

"Are you kidding me, Nicky?" Rod asks immediately, feeling his heart race so, exceedingly fast. Nicky has basically admitted his love for Rod in a complete obliviousness of 'no homo'. "Seriously, are you actually hearing what you're saying?"

"Yes, Rod. I'm so confused. I want you more though, Rod. Bros over hoes, right? Besides, she has Princeton. Honestly, it's probably just me being horny. I haven't had sex in an awfully long time." Nicky chuckles out a bit, running the bath slowly for Rod.

"You're just a pervert, Nicky. Especially towards girls who wear short skirts and no bra, like Kate does." Rod bitterly comments, blushing a bit at the thought of a sexually active Nicky.

"Listen, I'm not in love with her, okay? I know I'm not." Nicky grunts and turns the taps off, standing in front of his buddy, gazing down at him. "okay, get in the bath, stinky man." 

Rod rolls his eyes at Nicky's gentle comments, and stares up at him, "It isn't my fault I was sick, Nicholas..." Rod stands up, unbuttoning some of his buttons, expecting Nicky to leave. 

Nicky doesn't leave, watching him undress slowly.

"Nicholas, are you just going to watch me?"

"I can't trust you in here on your own." Nicky makes up excuses softly.

"... ugh, fine..." Rod blushes really heavily, "why don't you just undress me yourself then, huh?" The ginger jokes out delicately.

Nicky starts unbuttoning Rod's shirt, staring at him in the eye as he does so. He slowly eases his hands down to his buddy's trousers, and unzips them; Rod suddenly becoming heated and extremely flustered. 

"Nicky! Nicky, I was kidding... I... uhm..." Rod whispers to him diligently, laying his hands onto his friend's chest as they're so close. "NICHOLAS-" 

"Oh?" Nicky flusters as well, freezing in the position of taking Rod's trousers off. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realise. Hah!" Nicky and Rod both lean incredibly close to one another, and Rod feels the sexual tension building immediately.

"Hah! I never even got this close with my past girlfriends." Nicky gazes down into Rod's eyes sweetly.

Rod gazes back with immense passionate love. " _Bros before hoes_ , Nicholas." He jokes gently. He keeps intimate eye contact with his buddy and tries to lean into a kiss, when-

"Rod, you haven't washed your mouth out! I don't want to taste puke, buddy!" Nicky leans back slightly, giggling out innocently. The green buddy grabs some mouthwash, handing it over to Rod blissfully. 

"Okay, Nicky, jesus!!" Rod embarrassedly comments out, swishing some of the mouthwash in his mouth, then proceeding to spit it out into the sink. 

Nicky wraps his arms around Rod's waist from behind and presses his lips against the ginger's neck, pecking it at first but then becoming a little carried away, smooching his buddy's neck repeatedly, and passionately. He really did want his buddy to know he loved him, a heck of a lot. 

" _Nicholas~_ " Rod moans out uncontrollably, feeling himself get increasingly excited as Nicky is so intimate with him, and he immediately blushes brightly when he makes such an outrageously inappropriate noise. 

"Woah, did you just _moan_ , Rod? Haha! " Nicky chuckles out, feeling really strange inside, wanting to hear Rod make more of those noises. Nicky holds him even closer and presses his lips rougher against Rod's neck, having so many sensations running running his body. 

"No, I-I didn't... _Nicky~ Dammit!~"_ Rod breathes out heavily, his neck being one of his weak spots, especially to Nicky, as he was so deeply emotionally attached to him. 

"You're so cute, Rod! My bestest buddy ever... " 


	5. Velvet Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *This one is deeply inspired by the original version of "fantasies come true" 
> 
> I love y'all!!! <33

"Nicky, please.. Oh gosh.. " Rod breathes out more heavier, starting to get more enticed by the others enamouring kissing onto his neck. "This isn't friendly, Nicky.. This is far beyond friendly...! " Rod feels comfortable to admit that maybe this isn't what best friends do - not wanting Nicky to do this with Kate as the other said earlier that he saw her in the same way as he did to Rod.

"Hm?" Nicky pulls an inch away from Rod's neck, still holding onto him securely, "am I hurting you, Rod? Gosh, I am awfully sorry!"

"No-! No, you're not hurting me, silly.. " Rod blushes profusely, slowly turning around to face him. "well uhmm... It's just that... You know? It's sexual, Nicky... " He mumbles quietly, being embarrassed to speak about this. He was such a private and reserved man; talking about sexual acts really made him feel so very embarrassed. It wasn't because he was gay - it was because he valued himself really, really high and having sex would make him so vulnerable, and it'd show how submissive he really is. Rod just wanted to seem like the confident, boss man Nicky is. But he couldn't ever bring himself to act like that - because really deep down: he was the little, vulnerable, submissive type and a hopeless romantic - and he was so embarrassed by it since it's so personal and he was afraid it'd make him seem less of a person. He really just desired to be all he could be for his buddy.

"Sexual?" Nicky questions softly. "But we're buddies. It's just..." Nicky's obliviousness spirals. "You're my friend and I want to make you feel better. And when I kiss you, hug you, squeeze you - any of that, you become really happy, buddy!"

"..." Rod was so tempted to say 'that's not what friends do, you sexy imbecile' but held himself back in a controlled manner. "I get that... And I really love that. Believe me, I do, Nicky. Don't you ever wonder if we go too far?"

"No... Because I'm too into the moment to care, Rod. All I care about is making you happy, and making myself feel happy whilst doing it. The balance of happiness is what keeps me going, Buddy!" Nicky smiles warmly at Rod and gazes down at him.

"..." Rod falls so deeply in love with Nicky's gaze, as he always does, staring back at him with so much adoration built in his eyes. "You're a real pal, Nicky... " he notices himself staring too intensely and blushes more, feeling so embarrassed about seeming so submissive earlier. "I need to have my bath though."

"Right, bud! I made it hot and steamy, just how you like it! " Nicky innocently and softly remarks, pulling away from their close embrace to let Rod free.

 _'NICKY, OH GOSH, PLEASE DON'T SAY IT LIKE THAT, YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE ME WANT YOU EVEN MORE-'_ Rod attempts to keep control of himself, stepping over closer to the bathtub. "Nothing like a bath that burns off your skin, Nicky!" He chuckles out softly, staring over at his buddy with a light-hearted gaze.

"At least it'll get rid of the germies, buddy! " Nicky keeps staring over at Rod as well, smiling widely and lovingly.

They keep gazing at eachother for a few minutes, Rod's face heating up little by little.

"Well uhm. " Nicky clears his throat, blushing slightly. He's been starting to feel a bit... Unusual lately. He was experiencing things he never had felt before.

"Yeah." Rod chuckles out with nervous intent, and flusters a lot as well, "well, I guess I'll have my bath then, Nicky. I don't need an audience, however. " He chuckles out slightly again, feeling very anxious.

"But what if you are sick again, buddy?"

"Okay, okay. You can stay in here... But just... Turn around for a few moments, okay? So I can get naked, at least so you don't see me from the waist down." Rod insists softly, grabbing Nicky's shoulders gently, turning him around to face the wall.

"Whatever you say, buddy!" Nicky innocently responds and waits a few long moments.

Rod gets undressed with ease and gets into the bath hesitantly, covering himself from the waist down with tons of bubbles. "Right, you can look if you want to." Rod murmurs out embarrassedly still, feeling vulnerable since he's now undressed completely.

Nicky turns around and walks over to the tub slowly, kneeling down beside it, staring into Rod's eyes. "Now you're calm, bud... We can talk about things."

Rod sighs out real heavily, "I'm so sorry, Nicky, for what I said earlier. It was just all of my repressed anger spilling out all at once. I didn't mean any of it... I immediately regretted even saying it shortly after... You know I didn't mean any of it, right?"

"I know, Rod... " Nicky sighs out as well, resting his arms on the edge of the bathtub. "I'm just glad you're not upset about me wanting to date Kate."

Rod feels his heart twitch and he looks away from Nicky suddenly, holding his own hands together. "Well." He clears his throat. "I'm just afraid of losing my closest friend." He sort of lies - as the big reason for him being upset about this all is that he'll never get to have Nicky for forever as a romantic partner.

"You'll never lose me, buddy! Don't be so silly. We'll always be best friends... I promise, Rod."

"You better keep that promise... " Rod turns slightly to face him, wanting to make eye contact with Nicky so his buddy can maybe understand his feelings, through the emotion of his mellow eyes. "what do you like about her, Nicky?"

"Well she's awfully sweet... She's so pretty, and she's always kind to me, you know? Hah. She's always doing things for me, and cheering me up whenever I feel down. Plus we go out together to places you won't go to, because 'they're too exhilarating' and 'you just want to sit at home and read'." Nicky blushes slightly, "I don't know, Rod. I've liked her since high school."

You better believe Rod is feeling absolutely distraught right now. His heart keeps smashing into tinier pieces word by word - each articulation fracturing all his emotion and feeling of being loved into a trillion miniscule fractions. _'What does she have that I don't have?'_ Rod escaped into his empty void, feeling so insecure and heartbroken. _'All I want is for him to be happy, though. I'm just going to have to sacrifice my feelings for him... At least he'll be happy, and loved... '_

"It's dumb, though, Rod." Nicky insists, blushing even more. "Plus, she totally still likes Princeton."

"Yeah. Well. I'm happy for you, Nicky." Rod stares him in the eye, forcing a small smile. "Do whatever makes you happy, Nicholas. "

"Well... After I put you to bed because you're sick, I'm going to go out and tell her my feelings."

"That's good, Nicky." Rod painfully agreed.

"Wish me luck, hah!" Nicky smiles widely, "you're such an amazing friend, Rod!"

 _'friend... '_ Rod nods affirmatively, "you are too."

Nicky finds this whole conversation to be exceedingly awkward - he noticed how short of a response Rod was giving. Though, he didn't connect the dots, "are you still feeling sick?"

"More than ever." Rod sighs out heavily, "I'll finish up in here by myself now, Nicky."

"Aw, buddy... Well okay! I'll make your bed all cozy." Nicky kisses Rod's cheek and stands up swiftly, stepping out of the bathroom.

~8 minutes later~

Rod sits onto his bed with ease, fully clothed in some more comfortable clothing, rather than his suit.

"Well, buddy, I'll be off then! I'll be back very soon, okay? I'll try to only stay there for, at most, 45 minutes. I'm not going to her house so I won't be too long - we're meeting by the bus stop which isn't too far away. I'll tell her how you're sick and that, okay, Rod?" Nicky pats Rod's hair gently.

"Yeah, that's good, Nicky. That's okay. Good luck... " Rod forces another painful smile onto his face, staring up at him.

"Thanks, Buddy! Love ya!" Nicky makes his way out of the house.

~10 minutes later~

Rod ventures his way to Nicky's clothing closet, wiping his tears away slowly with his slightly shaken hands, staring at all of Nicky's clothing with so much despair. He grasps one of his buddy's hoodies and shoves it on immediately - It felt so cozy, warm, and delightful, and Nicky's scent was plastered all over it. Rod loved it so much. Though, it hurt him to know that Nicky may even move out, and leave him for forever since he was now going to confess his love for Kate. Rod was so, very torn inside. He felt so empty and broken.

He breathes deeply and then stares at the door, contemplating about... Maybe sneaking out to spy on his buddy. "No-no... I shouldn't. It's... His private life. But.. Uhm... Maybe I can just stand near where... They are speaking at the bus stop..." Rod mumbles softly to himself. "I need to go out any way, to get some groceries. " he feels the need to justify to himself, blushing a little bit.

Rod laces up his trainers, and treads slowly out of the door. 

~Bus Stop w/Nicky and Kate~

Nicky stands there awkwardly and waits for Kate to arrive, twiddling his thumbs slightly. He stares around, blushing slightly, wondering if Rod is doing all right. He already missed him so everlessly - he always seemed to long for his buddy whenever they were apart. 

Kate slowly waddles on over to Nicky, "oh hi, Nicholas!! " She smiles widely, walking over to him whilst beaming her brightly happy expression. 

"Hey, Kate!" Nicky waves slowly, smiling back at her widely, staring at the smaller individual. 

"How are you, Nicky, why did you want to see me today? " Kate leans on the bus stop pole casually, crossing her arms comfortably as she stares up at Nicky. 

"I have something to tell you, Kate."

"Well... Uhm. What is it, then?" Kate raises an eyebrow. 

"I'm in love, Kate."

"Oh, that's so wonderful to hear, Nicky! With who?" She gleams in happiness, raising both of her eyebrows. 

Nicky breathes in and outwards slowly, his cheeks blushing so heavily. He gazes down at her, feeling his heart pound so hard - as if it were being punched over and over again. He could feel his chest become so weighted, this moment he's been waiting for for so long. To admit this would finally let a huge weight off of his shoulder, no longer keeping it all in, to himself. 

"With Rod." Nicky breathes out. 

"With Rod?! Oh my gosh, I'm so happy for you!" 

"Keep it down, buddy! " Nicky flusters heavily. "I've messed up badly though."

"Oh, Nicky, I'm sure you haven't. "

"I told him a lie, Kate!" He groans heavily, sighing out. 

Rod slowly shuffles a little close to where they were, wanting to hear the conversation clearly. He felt so guilty about it, yet he really desired to know how this all would unfold. 

"I told Rod I was in love with you, when I'm really in love with him, Kate! Now he's never going to believe me... " 

Rod's expression lights up and he smiles extremely widely. _'OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, I'M GONNA SCREAM!! THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING!!! FOR REAL, OH MY GOD, OH MY JESUS-'_ Rod becomes overwhelmed with immensely passionately loving emotions. He feels so completely whole now, his heart built back together. 

"I don't know what to do, Kate..." Nicky whimpers slightly. 

"We can figure something out, Nicky." Kate insists, patting his back. 


	6. Floral Hearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "All those nights..  
> I lay in bed...  
> Thoughts of you running through my head... "

Rod escaped out of the exciting situation pretty quickly, already hearing all he needs to hear ; he speedily walked to their house, squealing and squeaking in so much excitement and pure love. It was so wholesome and truly passionately sweet to hear what he just heard and he really just wanted this moment to last forever.

As he entered the house, he started spinning across the living room and smiling widely, "YESSS!!!! HAHAAAA!!! YESS!! YESS!!! AHHHH!!!" Rod squeals out highly, giggling softly as he jumps for absolute joy.  
"FUCK YES!!!" Rod yanks a pillow from one of the sofas and hugs it, embracing it tightly, "oh, Nicholas!!! You have no idea! You really don't! Oh my sweet suffering jesus christ from art thou heaven above~!!" Rod dances around the living room with the pillow tightly in his grip. " _CAANNN YOU FEEELL THE LOVEEE TONIGHT??_ ♪" Rod chants out loudly, singing in immense glee. " _TONIGHHHHHT~ ♪ IT IS WHERE WE ARREEEE~ WOOHOO_ -"

"Are you all right, Rod, buddy?" Nicky is chuckling hard by the front door, staring at his buddy singing and dancing around the living room.

"Ah!" Rod immediately throws the pillow onto the sofa and blushes like crazy, staring over at his friend with a brightly flustered expression. "I was just... Heh. _Ahem_." He clears his throat, and smiles widely over at Nicky. "I don't know. I just suddenly had a burst of energy, Nicky. "

"Hey, that's great, bud! Glad to see you're doing so well, Buddy! " Nicky smiles back, and takes his shoes off, sighing a little. He still felt a bit down since he thought Rod didn't know - he thought Rod had the misconception of him being in love with Kate. It made him deeply upset since he cared about and loved his buddy so much - more than words could ever express.

"So how'd it go with Kate, huh, Nicky? " Rod smirks, stepping over close to him.

"Well uhm... " Nicky blushes a bit, avoiding eye contact with Rod. "we aren't going on a date anytime soon, hah!" The green buddy looks back at Rod for a few seconds, then sits on the sofa.

"Aw." Rod sits next to Nicky, and shuffles close to him, staring into his eyes. "There's plenty of people out there, Nicky." Rod gently assures him, moving his hand on top of Nicky's. ' _Or in here._ '

"Yeah, hah." Nicky stares back into Rod's eyes, nodding slowly. "I'm going to see her again sometime soon though, buddy! Don't get jealous~" He winks, giggling softly.

"Oh I won't get jealous, Nicky, because you always come right back to me. " Rod smirks more and turns more to face his buddy, blushing like crazy. "Are you feeling upset, Nicky?"

"Not entirely, Buddy! Just a little confused is all, but I'm as happy as the sunshine!" Nicky assures him with no doubt, turning to face his buddy too.

"Nicky, you are a ray of sunshine." Rod flirts softly.

"Hm?"

The ginger profusely blushes, feeling way to confident for his own good at the moment. Although, he felt so, so extremely assured and happy, he just couldn't help it. "Uhm. Nevermind, Nicky, heh... "

They both share an awkward stare into eachothers eyes, Rod's lips quivering as he's trying to stop himself from smiling so widely. "Well, " Rod clears his throat, "what did you tell her? " Rod can't help but smirk, finding this all so deeply amusing.

"I told her that she's really pretty and sweet, then I asked her if she wanted to go on a date, buddy, hah, you know, the usual romantic things... " Nicky flusters out heavily, trying to come up with excuses real fast.

"Oh, really? Tell me exactly what you said then. " Rod smiles more widely, giggling a bit.

"Uhm. Well, I-"

"Come on, I'm your best buddy. You have to share your personal life, Nicky."

"I know that, Rod, Buddy! It's just.. Hah! Embarrassing." Nicky thinks real hard, holding onto Rod's hand out of instinct. "I told her: You are the most beautiful, sweetest, absolutely most attractive person I've ever seen and met. You are one in a million, and we've known eachother so long-" Nicky falls into a deep gaze, staring into Rod's eyes, both of them sharing intimate eye contact. "Which just makes it all the better. We've been through so much, we've been through so many emotions together... We've been buddies for as long as I can remember and I fell in love with you, like the stupid, silly guy I am. I really don't want to ruin our relationship that we already have but I can't help but want to be with you for the rest of my life. I love you, Ro-" Nicky blushes heavily, panicking slightly, "Romantically! So romantically." He clears his throat, "that's.. That's what I said to _her_ , buddy."

Rod feels his heart beam, his breathing starting to become deeper from the amount of emotions he was experiencing. He is speechless, lost for words - he knows Nicky is just really thinking these things about him and that makes him feel over the moon - absolutely exhilarated in sensations. "That's cute, Nicky. How could she ever say no?" He speaks out softly, squeezing Nicky's hand back.

"She's an independent woman, Rod, buddy!" Nicholas nervously chuckles out, leaning closer to Rod.

"Mmhm." Rod becomes lost for Nicky, "do you want me to make you feel better, Nicholas? Like you do to me?" He whispers softly, with a desperate tone.

"You can do, Buddy! But you don't have to, I'm not forcing you to do anything-" Nicky whispers out to him but is interrupted by Rod's soft lips pushed against his. Nicky immediately kisses him back sweetly, as they always do. Light pecks on the lips, short and sweet.

They both find themselves getting a little carried away with eachother though, and the ginger makes the first move, and opens his mouth slightly ; Nicky taking the hint with stride; letting them make out passionately with eachother.

Things start getting pretty heated between the two - more than usual - maybe because Rod was feeling too confident to even care that they were still technically 'only buddies' - and Nicky really just needed Rod a lot right now.

Nicky begins to rub his hand up Rod's thigh and the ginger freaks out a little, pulling away from the kiss,  
"Nicholas-"

"Hm, buddy?"

"what are you doing?" Rod stares up at him, and looks around the living room, realizing what they were doing, almost simultaneously becoming immensely embarrassed, and panicked. "your hand, Nicky."

"Oh! Hah! Sorry, Rod, buddy, do you not want me to do that?"

"why are you doing it?" Rod blushes even more, "it's not that I dislike it.. I... I just want to know, just.. Just because. "

"I dunno, Rod. It just felt right." Nick admits to him, not feeling too embarrassed about it. After all, Rod was his bestest friend and he had nothing to be ashamed of.

"right? What do you mean by that, Nicky? " Rod questions out softly.

"I felt like... Well, I felt like I really needed to do it, buddy... " Nicky nervously speaks out, staring at Rod with so much tension.

"okay, Uhm.. " Rod sweats a bit, completely flustered that this is all reality, and it's all really happening.

"Do you want to continue our friendly loving, Buddy? " Nicky awkwardly questions, feeling a little more embarrassed now - also feeling the need to state that they're both friends to not seem suspicious to his best friend.

"yes..." Rod closes his eyes slowly, and lets Nicky take control of him, being very overwhelmed in all of his emotions. As Nicky kisses him again, he feels his whole body fluster with endless sensations of adoration, he really did love Nicky - and it was absolutely amazing to hear that Nicky loved him back, even if he really wasn't supposed to know at this point.

Nicky immediately becomes passionate, longing for Rod - he really didn't care if this didn't seem like a thing a buddy would do : it's just what feels right and it feels absolutely extraordinary. He moves his hand up Rod's thigh slowly, and then back down to his knee, repeating this action over and over ; simultaneously becoming more and more excited and into it-,

He pulls away from the kiss with ease, and presses his lips against Rod's ear, "I wanna screw you."

"WHAT?! " Rod embarrassedly shouts out, pushing Nicky away in pure fluster, his heart racing faster than a gliding deer through the mellow forest. "Nicky! That's so inappropriate!!!" He feels his whole body become sweaty and over-heated.

"Oh! Oh!! Sorry, buddy! I - I don't know what's gotten into me. " Nicky sits up straight, and clears his throat, blushing a lot too.

"JESUS, NICKY!" Rod completely is so very embarrassed, shuffling a little away from him, "SEX IS ONLY FOR SOMEONE YOU LOVE, OKAY, NICHOLAS?! NOT FOR YOUR BEST FRIEND!"

Nicky stares to the side, contemplating a lot.

"You have to admit you love somebody, Nicky, before you can do those things. " Rod speaks out, feeling awkward now.

"What do you mean, Rod!? Are you trying to say that I love you more than a friend?!"

"..." Rod falls silent. "I feel really guilty about something, Nicky."

"what, buddy?" Nicky looks over at him, with a concerned look.

"Well. I went out... To, you know, go out to get some groceries, Nicky... Earlier. I stumbled upon you.. You and Kate- and I just.. Couldn't help but listen." Rod tries to explain as softly as he could, now avoiding eye contact with Nicky.

"Rod, you are the worst, buddy." Nicky feels so embarrassed, and outright humiliated. "I told you, it was personal talk between me and her, buddy. You still listened anyway!"

"I know, I know. I shouldn't have."

There's a long awkward silence.

"Well, now you know, Rod. I thought I was straight my whole life, I really did. I got comfortable with myself being that way, buddy. But then you had to go and make me fall in love with you. My own best friend, who I'm supposed to support and love in a different way. " Nicky solemnly echoes out.

"Who says you're supposed to, Nicky?" Rod shuffles a little closer.

"You. Everytime I try and do something a little extra with you, something romantic, buddy... You always remind me how we're just friends. "

"You do too, with me!"

"That's because I don't want you to think otherwise, Rod." Nicky twiddles with his own thumbs, staring down at then. "I can't believe you overheard, Rod. I was supposed to tell you in a way more romantic way, when I was comfortable. "

"I'm sorry, Nicky."

"So what happens now, buddy?" Nicky sighs out heavily, holding his head in his hands in complete shame.

"I don't know, Nicky." Rod bites his bottom lip gently, "I... Well. Uhm. The thing is, Nicky... I.. I have always felt that way about you, you know?"

"You have, buddy?" Nicky sits back up, and looks over at him. "Why have you never told me then, Rod?"

"You've been saying that you're straight this whole time, Nicky!" Rod groans lowly, facing slightly away from him. "I was ashamed about my feelings for you - because you were only trying to be my friend, and just my friend. I thought it was wrong of me to feel so in love with you because you never felt the same."

"Well I did, Rod!" Nicky stares over at him, feeling a bit upset. "And I was supposed to admit that in my own time, when I was comfortable!"

"I know, Nicky, okay?! I said I was sorry..."

There's another long awkward silence.

"Well there's nothing we can do about it now, Rod." Nicky speaks softly.

"Just kiss me already, Nicky. And make sure you mean it." Rod whispers to him gently, unzipping Nicky's jacket slowly.

"I always mean it, Buddy. " He stares down at Rod, letting him take his jacket off. "Just... Now it's going to feel different - for both of us, you know, bud."

"Nicky, our relationship isn't going to be ruined from this. I know what you're thinking... " Rod stares up at him, sympathetically.

"I hope not, Rod, buddy. I'll try not to do anything dumb... " Nicky's eyes drift sideways, and he stares at the wall, avoiding Rod's eye contact again. He was still feeling a bit upset that the one person he really did trust failed to be trustworthy earlier.

"I thought you would be happy to know I feel the same say, Nicky... What's the matter?" Rod sighs out, grabbing Nicky's hands with gentle compassion.

"I just didn't expect you to find out, especially so soon and without me knowing. It just hurts a bit, buddy. " Nicky frowns slightly, still staring at the wall, feeling down.

"Nicky.. " Rod feels incredibly guilty instantly, and tightly holds Nicky's hands in his own, "I know I made a huge mistake... But there's nothing I can do but be sorry for it. I can't just forget I heard it, Nicky... And I don't want to. I love you, Nicky, more than anything. It makes me happy to know that maybe you feel the same."

Nicky hugs Rod tightly, embracing him warmly. "Just don't do any more stupid shit, Rod, buddy... "

"I promise I won't, Nicholas!"


	7. Enticing Innocence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "No more cruising bars for chicks,  
> WE CAN SUCK EACHOTHERS DICKS, 
> 
> You and me lived in fantasy,  
> But soon we'll be a reality.. "

Nicky holds Rod close to him, rubbing his back so gently - he still felt that inch of anger and sadness inside him as his best friend hurt him from overhearing yet he could never stay negatively felt towards his bestest buddy. He closes his eyes slowly, moving his hands delicately all over Rod's back.

"Nicky, I'm really sorry, okay? I know I did a terrible thing but now we can work on our relationship, you know? We can... Develop it more. Maybe?" Rod sighs heavily, wrapping his arms around the others torso as well, resting his face onto his green buddy's chest.

"We can do, buddy... I am just feeling a bit strange, is all. I had gotten so used to being straight, as I told you before, but now I'm so confused. I can't say I'm completely homo overall, buddy, but I'm definitely completely gay for you, if you get what I mean, Rod. But it's a really new feeling, so it's weird to me since I've been best friends for you for so long and now I'm in love with you in a different way." Nicky explains softly, holding Rod tighter.

"Well, Nicky. I'm the expert here, because I have been openly gay for about 6 months now." Rod jokes out gently, "Listen, Nicky. Being gay isn't anything different from being straight - besides the... You know. And heh, being in love with your best friend has been a regular daily routine for me, and it's tricky but it's also so special. Because you're in love with the best person in your life." Rod soppily whispers to him lovingly.

Nicky pulls away a little and gazes down at him. "That's sweet, buddy... " he smiles warmly, and blushes a bit, looking away as he feels flustered. "It does feel special for sure, buddy."

"Well, what do we do now, Nicky? Now that we know eachothers feelings." Rod leans his hand upwards and places it on Nicky's cheek, tilting the green buddy's head so he looks down at him.

Nicky places his hand on top of Rod's on his cheek, "I guess I should take you out on a date." Nicky winks at his buddy and takes Rod's hand off of his cheek, kissing his palm delicately.

"Nicholas, any day with you is a date." Rod blushes softly at the kiss, and shuffles gently onto Nicky's lap, wrapping his arms around his buddy's neck, pulling him close.

"Oh, Rod... " He smiles happily, and wraps his arms around the ginger's waist, inching him closer. "You do have a way with words, buddy! You can convince me to do anything. " he whispers to Rod amiably, feeling a little tense. "Rod, I love you and all but.. "

Rod starts panicking a bit, frowning as soon as he heard the 'but'.

"If you carry on sitting on my dick right now, I think I may have to tickle you to death. " Nicky grins.

 _PHEW_. Rod was way too anxious about this whole situation, he really thought Nicky was going to say something hurtful or doubtful. But then again, this was very embarrassing now, and Rod's face immediately blushed contagiously. "Nicky! I'm not sitting on your dick... I'm sitting on your lap, there's a difference.. " he makes an excuse up.

"No, there's no difference, buddy."

"Totally is!"

"You're just making up excuses so you can sit on my dick-"

"Noooo... You have trousers on. " Rod blushes more, and pouts, staring to the side.

"Yes but I can still feel the pressure, Rod, Buddy!" He giggles softly and smiles widely and cheekily at him. "I never said I didn't like it or that I didn't want it."

"pervert.. " Rod mumbles out quietly.

"Says you, Rod! You love it!" Nicky chuckles softly, holding onto the ginger's hips.

"So what if I do, huh? What are you gonna do about it, Nicky?" Rod huffs out, and crosses his arms.

Nicky immediately smooches Rod's lips, then pulls away slowly, staring at him, "that's what I'm going to do, bud. " he chuckles out softly.

"Just one? And a peck on the lips?" Rod scoffs jokingly, and shakes his head.

"Well, bud. If that's how you want to play this game." Nicky pulls him closer, and presses his gentle lips against Rod's neck, kissing it with delicate compassion.

Rod tightens his lips together, and grips onto the back of Nicky's shirt, holding him with a hard grip. "Nicholas... " he whispers out softly, closing his eyes with ease. He felt heavenly and simultaneously leaned into the kiss, holding onto him.

"Rod." Nicky speaks back, innocently.

"You can't keep teasing me like this, I can't take it. " Rod whimpers out delicately, and blushes heavily.

Nicky frowns a bit, thinking he's done something wrong, and he pulls away slowly, gazing down at him. "oh... I'm sorry, Rod! I didn't mean to make you feel like that... I'm sorry, I will do better, buddy... " Nicholas pouts a little, moving his hands away from Rod ; presuming Rod desires some personal space.

"No, Nicky... " Rod blushes profusely and looks around nervously. "No, it's... You haven't done anything wrong, Nicholas... " the ginger clears his throat gently, avoiding eye contact.

"Why did you sound upset then, buddy? " Nicky pouts a little bit, and feels guilty for making Rod feel supposedly upset.

"I'm not upset, Nicky.. " Rod flusters heavily, and whimpers again. "What I meant was... Oh gosh. What I meant was... You shouldn't keep teasing me so much, otherwise we're going to... "

"What are we going to do, buddy? " Nicky raises his eyebrows, and holds onto Rod's hips securely, staring at him in ponder.

"Don't you understand, Nicky?" Rod whines softly, and covers his blushing face, his embarrassment rising exponentially.

"Not really, bud!! " He chuckles out heartily, and wraps his arms back around Rod's waist tightly.

"We're going to end up... Intimate."

"Oh! You mean we're gonna end up fucking eachother, buddy!"

"NICKY - That's... " Rod feels himself heat up a lot, starting to sweat profusely. "That's not the way I would put it, but I guess you can say it like that. "

"Do you want to?" Nicky smiles innocently at him, and keeps his eye contact with his buddy.

"No, not yet. Not yet, Nicky." He blushes more and more heavily, slowly easing off of Nicky's lap.

"Well all right, buddy, just tell me when you are. " He pats Rod's head delicately and ruffles up his hair slightly, widely smiling.

"Hey, buddy. Uhm. Should we have a party tonight, just you and me, maybe? Let's just have a celebration, for our relationship... I know we're not technically together yet, but I'm sure after this night, you'll be completely in desire of me and me only!"

 _'I already am, Nicky, oh gosh... '_ Rod clears his throat, "well, we will see about that, Nicky... " the ginger is playing a little hard to get, wondering how much flirtatious attitude and how much amorousness Nicky can really release.

"Come on then, bud! I'll prepare everything. You stay in the bedroom, buddy, for the moment." Nicky chuckles out, and stands up.

 _'He's so excited, oh my gosh, that's so cute... I'm in absolute heaven right now.'_ Rod smiles widely back at him, "Whatever you say, sir."

~10 minutes later~

"Damn, what is he doing out there?... " Rod waits paitently in the bedroom, cuddling himself into Nicky's jacket warmly. He felt so safe whenever something of Nicky's was around him - whether it was his jacket or Nicky's arms or hands, it felt like a secure protection, and it made his heart flutter in so much warmth and amouring sensations.

"RODDD!!! COME HERE, BUDDY!! " Nicky yells out from the living room.

"Finally." The ginger stands up and steps outside of the bedroom, walking down the hallway with ease.

As he steps into the living room, he stops and stares in awe.

The living room is tidy for once, Nicky has put everything back in the right place - he's draped a pink blanket over the sofa, and a pink cloth over the coffee table. Rose petals, which he has probably stolen from the garden, are sprinkled across the living room, mostly on the sofa and the coffee table, delicately creating a beautiful romantic atmosphere lightly in the house. Nicky has set wine and, obviously, some cookies beside it - as he's not entirely sure what romantic food is, but Rod enjoys Nicky's adorableness.

Rod steps more into the living room and then stares into the kitchen, seeing that Nicky has put some food in the oven - probably a readymade pizza, but the ginger still has deep admiration for it all.

"Oh Nicky... You're too sweet for me. " Rod softly smiles widely, as Nicky turns the lights dim and lowkey, stepping out from where he was hiding.

Nicky is dressed in a tight suit, the only suit he owns, with his hair slicked back, and brushed, and he looks clean - and his strong scent of after shave radiates from him. "Ta-daaaa, buddy!"

"Oh my god, Nicky, how.... It's only been like ten minutes... I'm.. " Rod holds his own hands together and bites his bottom lip, gazing at Nicky intensely - not desiring to look away at all. _NICKY WAS SO DAMN HOT_.

"Well, I'm a guy of wonders, bud. " He winks at him, and steps closer to Rod, grabbing his hands. "I thought I needed to impress you a lot to really reel you in, Rod!"

"Nicky, you've impressed me more than anyone has ever... Oh sweet dying Jesus.. " Rod blushes heavily, and leans close to him, gazing up at Nicky. "You look so handsome, Nicholas. As always... " Rod finds himself sweating a bit.

"Hah, thanks, Buddy! You look adorable in my jacket, Rod, but you look adorable with whatever you wear, so I'm not surprised. " the green buddy winks, and leads him to the sofa, sitting him down gently.

"Well, Nicky. You've really out done yourself... This is all so... Heavenly, Nicholas! I feel I might faint, hah.. " Rod jokes softly, feeling more nervous now since Nicky has made such a huge effort in such little time.

"You deserve it, buddy. " The other sits himself next to Rod, and holds both of the ginger's hands again, gazing into his eyes.

They both gaze into eachothers eyes, smiling warmly, for a real long time, holding eachothers hands tightly and securely in their palms - their fingers intertwined intimately.

Nicky pulls his hands away with ease and drapes his hand onto Rod's cheek, holding his face with a warm, loving palm ; his thumb easing down to the ginger's bottom lip, rubbing it with ease. Rod blushes heavily, and rests his palm ontop of Nicky's hand, feeling his heart pound harder, and faster than a bunny hopping swiftly back home. They shuffle closer almost simultaneously, and Nicky leans intimately close, smooching Rod's lips softly when-

 _BEEEEPPP_ THE FOOD IS DONE! Nicky blushes a little and pulls away from the kiss. "Hold on, the oven is ruining our kiss, buddy. " the green buddy stands up and steps to the kitchen, taking the pizza out of the oven quickly. "Are you hungry, Rod, buddy?" He calls out from the kitchen.

 _'Not for food.. '_ Rod blushes slightly, "No, not at the moment, Nicky. "

"Okay, well tell me when you are, bud. " the suited friend steps back into the living room, and parks his behind on the sofa again, blushing too since they both got so intimate beforehand.

"How about we have some alcohol to ease us both, Nicky?" Rod laugh softly, and grabs one of the empty glasses from the coffee table, "I'm not much of a drinker, however. "

"We sure can, buddy!" Nicky agrees softly, and pours the wine into both of their glasses - as Nicky has no idea about any type of etiquette when it comes to these things, he downs the whole glass in about a minute.

"Jesus, Nicky, you realise that red wine hangovers are the worst...? " Rod chuckles gently as he takes sips, knowing full well that he, himself, is a real lightweight.

"Nothing some bacon, eggs and a glass of water can't fix, Rod. " he chuckles out daintily, and pours himself another glass.

_~20 minutes or so later~_

_Oh boy_. The two are a little tipsy, and have been talking about a lot of personal, silly, gossipy type subjects.

"Haha, so.. So.. Like.. Princeton literally nearly.. Nearly.. Got his fuckin' dick bitten off by Trekkie- I'm- I'm telling you, budddyyyy.. Haaaahh-" Nicky giggles out drunkily, wiping his mouth from some drool.

"HEHEHEHEH- oh my goshhh!! That's-that.. That is so funny, Nicky, imagine - imagine that.. " Rod wheezes out, laughing a lot. He stares over at Nicky lovingly, and shuffles really close to him, "oh Nicky, I love you so much, kiss me, make out with meeee-"

"oh gee, buddy, I-I love you so much too!! Oh R-Rod.. " Nicky wraps his arms around Rod's waist, and pins him down on the sofa, sloppily kissing him passionately.

Of course, Rod also smooches him back sloppily, as they're both drunk - but also drunk in love. He wraps his legs around Nicky's waist as he's pinned down, and leans his hands over to his buddy's trousers, unzipping them and yanking them down.

Nicky follows Rod's actions, they're both thinking the exact same thing - and he unzips his jacket off of Rod's body and pulls his buddy's shirt off.

_The pizza sure went cold that night._


	8. Day by minute

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Awkwardness but sweetness
> 
> My anemia was testing me whilst writing this so I'm vewy sowwy if it's a little bland

Sweating profusely, Rod sleeps with a heavy breath, the air is thick and he's absolutely exhausted. He must have had a pretty tiring day yesterday - maybe it was from all of the excitement, the love, the happiness, the extraordinary, ecstatic exhilaration from being with Nicky always seemed to leave him breathless. He didn't dream about much tonight; this was probably because of how rough he's sleeping, and the fact that he had gotten a bit drunk yesterday so he won't remember much when he wakes up - especially his dreams.

Rod feels a bit of water drip down his neck, and this is what awakens him - his eyes drooping open as he batters his eyelids. His head is absolutely pounding, and he feels somewhat sick - but nothing too bad, nothing some rest can't fix.

Rod groans softly, and opens his eyes completely now, staring around for a few moments. Immediately, his cheeks mellow a hard blush: Nicky's arms tightly secured around his waist, spooning him from behind - the green buddy's face close to Rod's neck, drool seeping out of his mouth slightly onto the gingers neck.

"Nicky! Jesus lord in the fuck!" Rod exclaims softly, not being too loud, but being a bit grossed out by the dribble. He struggles a bit in Nicky's grip, but alas, the other pulls him closer, groaning delicately as well.

Rod blushes more, feeling himself already get so heated. The ginger felt so gross right now - sweating and being covered in Nicky's drool ; yet he felt extemely loving and passionately enticed due to the fact that they were so damn close and intimate. How did Nicky end up in his bed in the first place?

The ginger's head pounded more, and he felt like absolute shit, physically. He wasn't a drinker at all, and this was the reason why - he'd regret it so much the next day. He groans more heavily, and tears up a bit, the headache becoming somewhat worse. _Why did he agree to drink?_ He was the one who suggested it in the first place, so it was his fault ultimately.

The groaning had seemed to be an interruption to Nicky's sleep, and he opens his eyes shortly after also, wiping his mouth immediately. "Fuuuccck... My heaaadd... "

Rod flusters heavily, sitting up as Nicky's grip is released, fanning out his shirt from the sweat. He keeps quiet.

Nicholas sits up with ease, throwing the blanket off of both of them, the room temperature being way too hot to tolerate. "gee, why's it so hot in here...?"

The ginger starts becoming embarrassed and excited, staring down at Nicky's hot, sweating, wet, bare chest-

"Nicky, why are you in my bed?" Rod questions simultaneously, moving his gaze back to his buddy's eyes. "Did you decide to taunt me by climbing in my bed in the middle of the night, huh?"

"I don't know, buddy... Oh god... I feel like shit, bud." Nicky rubs his eyes, and wipes his body with his hands slightly, the sweat making him uncomfortable. "What were we doing that caused this much heat- oh. "

Rod stays a bit oblivious, shrugging at his question, "must've turned up the thermostat before bed... "

"oh god, Rod. " Nicky flusters, his cheeks brightly blushed. "Oh god, Rod!"

"What? What, Nicky?"

"Rod... Come on. Why else would I be in your bed, buddy?"

"To be annoying?"

Nicholas embarrassedly looks into Rod's eyes, "we had sex, Rod."

The room falls silent. Rod's face heats up incredibly much, his whole body becoming weak, flustered, heated, energized. "... sex... with you... "

"I remember it now, Rod. I wasn't even that drunk."

"Neither was I. "

"So you remember, buddy, hah?"

"Now that I've regained some consciousness, yes, I do." Rod whispers out gently.

"It was amazing, Rod." Nicky blushes sweetly, tilting his head down, staring at the floor in embarrassment. "Even if we were a bit drunk, bud, it was ama-"

Rod leans intimately close to Nicky, embracing their lips together into a passionately adoring kiss, though the ginger pulls away with ease after a few seconds, just as Nicky was really getting into it.

"This doesn't mean we do this all the time. We're not.. Officially dating, I think... So... Ahem.. Just..." Rod really can't help gazing at Nicky's chest in between every word, the other's attractiveness really distracting him. Especially with all of this heated discussion.

"You okay, buddy? Is there something on my chest?"

"No-! No. No. Yes, I'm good! I'm just a little dazed, Nicky.. " Rod clears his throat, and turns away, standing up next to the bed, ready to go sit in shame in the bathroom for being such a pervert to Nicky.

"Well, alright, buddy! Just relax, okay?"

"How can I relax, Nicky?!" He turns around to face his friend, and starts blushing immediately. "We made lo-!"

"I know! Gee, I know, buddy!" Nicky interrupts, feeling too embarrassed to talk about such an intimate subject. "It was... It was _all_ out of love, bud... " Nicky turns away as well, blushing like crazy.

Rod feels so, so excited, and attracted to him, and in love, and exhilerated - _it makes him mad!_

"Nicky, that-that was my first time." Rod admits awkwardly, and rubs his arm with ease, feeling more embarrassed. "I'm glad that it was with you, but I'm also mad that we got a bit drunk. Because now I have the worst hangover, Nicky... "

"I can sort you out in the bathroom, buddy! You'll feel better in no time. A lovely cold shower, bud!" Nicky stands up too and treads over to the other, taking him by the hand.

 _'An excuse to see me naked again...? '_ "well, lead the way. " Rod submissively agrees, loving how caring Nicky was being, he always did.

As they enter the bathroom, Nicky grabs Rod by the shoulders, and leans him against the sink, staring into his eyes, "you'll feel better, trust me, buddy! Hydration is the key to curing a nasty hangover, Rod." The green buddy pulls Rod's shirt off of his body, and his eyes widen a bit.

"What? What is it, Nicky? " Rod becomes a bit self conscious.

"Take a look." Nicky turns Rod around to face the mirror, and the ginger finds himself getting rather flustered and embarrassed. A cluster of love-bites, hickies, whatever you may call them, were plastered onto Rod's neck, down to his chest.

"Wow, Nicky, you really got into it, didn't you?" Rod clears his throat and rubs his neck slowly, "how the fuck am I going to cover these up, Nicky?! I have work-! "

"Hah, buddy, well, uhm... Wear a turtleneck underneath?" Nicky sweats a bit.

"Agh. Nicholas, you annoy me." Rod grunts out heavily, rubbing his neck still, feeling embarrassed. "I can't possibly cover these up, they're huge... I'm not just some bimbo you pick off of the street, Nicky... "

"Sorry, buddy, I guess it was just in the moment." Nicky starts feeling guilty, and clears his throat awkwardly. "Do you want me to make you some breakfast?"

"It's fine, Nicky, just be careful where you put things... " Rod gazes up at him as he turns back around. "I'd love that, Nicholas." He gives into Nicky's kindness, being easily influenced and persuaded by his love, even if he was mad at him. "I'll have a shower first though."

"I'll ask Lucy for some makeup, maybe, buddy? I'm sure makeup would cover them... " Nicky suggests softly, still feeling incredibly guilty. "Or I can massage you, Rod... I heard that hickies are just clots of blood so maybe massaging would help the blood flow better... "

Rod blushes slightly, questioning Nicky's science. His desire falls higher than his logic, "the second one sounds reliable." The ginger raises his eyebrows, "now shoo! I'm going to shower. Pervert." He smirks.

_~around 10 minutes later~_

Ruffling his ginger shiny hair in a towel, Rod dresses himself casually, in a pink plaid shirt, and jeans - some might say he dresses like a closeted father. He steps out of the bedroom with ease, spraying himself in body spray, and then proceeding to spray Nicky with it as he enters the kitchen.

"Rod! Gee, are you hinting something?" Nicky chuckles out softly, pulling a clean shirt on himself finally.

Rod sits down next to him, and turns to face Nicky slightly, "am I?" The ginger shares a laugh too.

They both stare at eachother, gazing into eachothers eyes, for a long time.

Nicky moves closer to Rod and wraps his arms around his torso, pulling him into a tight embrace. He hugs him passionately.

Rod immediately hugs back, wrapping his arms around his buddy's waist, burying his face into Nicky's chest. He felt safe. He was safe.

The ginger starts feeling Nicky's chest almost vibrate, and his buddy's tummy inhaling and exhaling sharply. Nicky was crying.

"Woah, woah- damn, Nicky! What's the matter, buddy, come on... " Rod pulls away from the embrace, and holds Nicky's hand gently, "awww, Nicky... " he coos softly, furrowing his eyebrows worriedly as he stares at Nicky sobbing. He hardly ever saw his green buddy cry, as Nicholas was one of the happiest people he'd ever known; this reveal of emotion hurt badly because this was rare - it made Rod's heart ache sorrowfully.

Nicky covered his eyes with his free hand, and tilted his head down slightly, feeling vunerable since he was crying. He hesitates a little, "I don't know, Rod." He sobs daintily. He hesitates again, "it's... It's just that... I've never felt so loved before, buddy. I've never felt this happy. All this time I was waiting for a girl to come to me and say that she loved me.. And I didn't realise that the one who really loved me was right in front of me the whole time, bud... And it wasn't a girl. It was you. It was always you."

Rod smiles emotionally, squeezing Nicky's hand caringly, "you're a sweetheart, Nicky... Thank you for always being you. I know how emotional it is when you're discovering who you are, especially when you discover that you're gay-"

"-But I'm not gay, Rod!"

Rod frowns slowly.

"I'm not gay. Because I don't love men, Rod. I love you. Only you. It's only you. It's always going to be only you, buddy... "

Rod smiles widely, and his heart beams endless amorousness, "oh, Nicky... Oh my god.. I really don't know what to do now!"

"You know what you can do?"

"What, Nicky?"

" _Kiss me_ , Rod."


	9. Play Along

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ring ring... 
> 
> Ring ring... 
> 
> Yellow? 
> 
> Green.

Rod leans close to Nicky, and wipes his tears away mellowly, holding his buddy's hand with his own free hand. "It's okay, Nicholas."

Nicky leans close simultaneously, staring into Rod's eyes with his own, his hazel, glimmering brown gaze falling into a deep passionate connection to the others emerald gateways to his soul. Their soft lips inching away from eachothers-

 _RING RING RING BEEP BEEP_ \- Nicholas' phone starts vibrating and audibly ringing out, obviously a Britney Spears ringtone, specifically _'Hit Me Baby (One More Time)'_ because why else?

Nicky blushes slightly and leans back, swiping his phone out of his pocket, "hold on. " he whispers softly to Rod.

"Yellow?"

"I was just checking in, sweetie! To see if you're in!"

The familiar female, sweet-sounding voice. Oh god, it was his mother.

"Oh, mom, I- I'm still in, yes. Why?" Nicky becomes slightly nervous. He hasn't come out to his mother, and honestly, he never dreamed of the day. Although Nicky's parents were always considerate, and accepting - he just had no idea whether they'd have the same acceptance with their own son, and that frightens him. He really has so much adoration for his mother, he really does not want to disappoint her or hurt her in any way possible.

"Nicky? Have you forgotten? You silly boyo... " She giggles softly over the phone, having the same charming tone Nicky always seems to prevail.

"Hah. Forgotten? Uhhhhhh." Nicky clears his throat. "Sorry, mom. "

"Awe, well. You invited me to come round to your apartment and see you! I haven't seen my baby boy in so long, your mom misses you terribly... I promise I won't disturb you and your girlfriend." She chuckles once more.

"Girlfriend." Nicky squeaks out softly. "Well, uh. Yeah, haha. Where are you, exactly? On your way?"

"Of course!"

"Okay well, haha, good, good, uh, see ya, love ya-" He hangs up on her. "SHIT!"

Rod stares over at him, with an obvious look of _'you haven't told her, have you?'_. The ginger rolls his eyes, and crosses his arms, "are we going to have a mothers meeting? " Rod chuckles out heartily.

"It's not funny, Rod... " Nicky huffs out, crossing his arms diligently, "this is serious! Mine and my mothers relationship can't be torn. I love her, buddy.. I'm so afraid that she's going to be disappointed... Especially since I have no job, no money, no girlfriend, no house... Everything is dealt with and paid for by my best friend! It's almost like I have a master!"

Rod blushes a little, rolling his eyes, "if she loves you back, she'll understand. If it makes you feel any better, I haven't told my parents officially either. " Rod clears his throat. "Not that I should have to tell them. I thought it was pretty clear about my position in the sexuality scale."

"Rod, you know fully well that it doesn't work like that, buddy." Nicky sighs out heavily, and stresses a bit, staring over at Rod, "yes, it's clear for you, you're open with all the gay... I'm not. I didn't realise till now, okay, buddy... "

"Well you were completely accepting of me, Nicky, you must've gained those morals from somewhere... " Rod gestures slowly.

"To be honest, Rod, I was always an accepting person. Especially to gay people. It just never made sense to me to judge someone by what they like to do in bed, or judging someone by who they are sexually. Those things are uncontrollable. My mom never said much about it."

"Sometimes you wish you could control them, Nicky." Rod sighs out, leaning back on his chair.

"But you can't, buddy." Nicky insists softly, "that's beside the point, bud. She thinks I have a girlfriend..."

"Tell her she's in Canada. " Rod softly giggles.

"It's not funny, Rod... " Nicky huffs out.

"Have some humor, Nicky. Listen, just don't bring it up, maybe she won't say anything about it."

"Rod. Listen closely... " Nicky shuffles close to Rod, and leans his face close to the ginger's. "She sees no sign of a girlfriend. I live in a house with my best buddy. We've been friends for forever and ever. He pays for us to live here together. We sleep in the same bedroom. Me and him are affectionate. We do everything together. He goes out to work everyday, to pay for us to eat, live, and maybe occasionally go somewhere special."

"Yeah. And?" Rod raises his eyebrows.

"Rod, you sound like my husband, and I sound like a housewife."

"No, I don't- we don't, what...?" Rod embarrassedly heats up, blushing timidly.

"It's really obvious that we have feelings for eachother, Rod... "

"... Okay, true, Nicky. But still, we could just be really, close buddies... "

"Buddies don't make out! Buddies don't long for eachothers affection! Buddies don't think about kissing and cuddling eachother all the time!" Nicky chuckles out amiably. "We're totally gay, Rod, buddy."

"Fine, Nicky, I get it, don't embarrass yourself... " Rod gazes away from Nicky, his cheeks beaming a bright blush. "We're gay together, Nicholas, so I guess you're just going to have to tell your mother. "

"tell her?" Nicky gulps quietly, "listen, I kinda just wanna let her speculate... And if she asks openly, I'll tell her I'm in an.. " Nicky pauses. "What are we, Rod? "

"We're... " Rod stares at him in the eyes, blushing slightly. They share a long awkward stare at eachother.

"Are you my boyfriend, Rod? "

"I don't know, Nicky, are you?"

"Do you want me to be?"

"Do you want me to want you to be my boyfriend?"

"What?"

"Huh?"

Rod huffs out embarrassedly, and crosses his arms. "Well. I just am not sure, Nicholas. You give me weird signals."

"Rod... " Nicky rolls his eyes, "gosh, you're so hard to please."

"If I don't play hard to get, I won't get to see you so desperate. " Rod winks.

Nicky blushes a little, and looks away. He is definitely not used to this flirting. "I'm not desperate, bud."

"That's the problem." Rod chuckles daintily, "I was only kidding, Nicky. No need to get all defensi-"

"I am not getting defensive!" Nicky shortly covers his mouth after he says that. He starts having a bit of _déja vu._ The green buddy clears his throat softly, and tries to adjust himself, "this is all beside the point, Rod, my mom is going to be here very soon."

"what do we do about me looking like a whore, then, Nicky?" Rod scoffs, rolling his eyes.

"Whore is a very degrading term, buddy, it's hurtful to women... Anyway, what do you even mean, bud?"

Rod rolls his eyes, "well I'm not a woman." He sits up straight, and stares over at Nicky. "What do you think I mean?"

"is it the marks on your neck?"

"Duhhhh, Nicholas!" Rod whines out, and huffs out annoyedly. "She's going to notice, for sure. Then she'll know for good. "

"Wear a turtleneck, buddy." Nicky articulated softly, with nervousness brewing in his tone.

"As if I already didn't look gay enough!" Rod groans harshly, and stands up in a mood, "fine, I'll wear a stupid turtleneck. You're lucky that I love you, otherwise you'd be in such big trouble." The ginger slowly walks to the bedroom. He finds a striped turtleneck deep in his closet, and furrows his eyebrows grumpily. He puts it on reluctantly, under his flannel, then proceeds to step back out of the room.

"See... You look nice, buddy... " Nicky nervously compliments him.

"No, I look like a closeted art major."

"That's not a bad look, Rod! "

"But I'm an openly gay republican investment banker. It's rather the opposite." Rod pushes his glasses up his face and crosses his arms. "You're going to have to make up for all of this, Nicky."

"yeah, I know, buddy, and I will! I promise." Nicholas insists, sighing softly out. He does feel somewhat guilty, but it wasn't entirely his fault since Rod had a part in it too.

 _Knock, knock, knock_.

"I'll get it." Rod softly echoes, and steps over to the door, opening it hesitantly. "Hello, Mrs. Lyon." Rod greets cheerily, and kisses her cheek. The ginger has a thing for greeting people with kisses.

"Hello, Rod." She remembers him, smiling at the now grown man. "Oh gosh, I haven't seen you since you were this tall!" The mother gestures with her hands, "you and baby Nicky were always so cute."

"He's still a baby. " Rod half jokes. "Well, come on in, make yourself at home."

Nicholas' mother was a turquoise tinted, relatively thick, and beautiful woman, probably where Nicky got his dashing looks from. Whereas, Nicky's father was quite the average man on the exterior, but controlling and had a case of toxic masculinity built into him - so furthermore, Nicky's mother divorced him very early into the marriage, so the green boy's influence fully was dependent on his mother.

"Hey, mom." Nicky nervously greets her, and clears his throat, "long time no see, hah." He steps over to her as she makes her way into the apartment.

"Nice place... " Nicky's mother smiles, "very small though."

"It's all I can afford." Rod adds, shutting the door.

"Rod-!" Nicky interjects.

"All he can afford, huh?" Mrs. Lyon softly questions.

"Yeah, hah. I... I don't have a job, yet." Nicky becomes increasingly more nervous. "Want some coffee?"

"So he pays for you to live here? How sweet. And yes, I'd love one." Nicky's mother sits down on the sofa with ease.

Rod looks over at Nicky, raising his eyebrows.

Nicky stares back worriedly.

The ginger changes his expression to a ' _are you going to tell her'_ sort of look.

"Boys? Are you both telepathically speaki-"

"We live together. " Nicky blurts out. "He doesn't pay for only me to live here, we both live here." The nervous boy jitters out.

"Oh. Like Bert and Ernie!" She chuckles out softly.

"Mhm, sister. " Rod sassily mutters, and steps towards the kitchen, "I'll make the coffees, Mrs Lyon."

"Call me Amal, Rod, please! No need to be so professional." She smiles at him warmly, turning to look at Nicky who's twiddling with his thumbs behind the sofa. "You need to relax, Nicky, honey, why are you all shaky?"

"I'm just thinking about things, mom." He slowly makes his way to the sofa and sits next to her hesitantly. "Guess I'm just over-thinking, hah. "

"is it about a girl? " she coos softly.

"No! Not at all." Nicky shakes his head, laughing nervously. "Mom... I don't have a girlfriend."

"Oh, well... I'm sure you'll find one soon, honey, you're a real catch. " she squishes his face gently, and smiles daintily at him.

"That's what I've been meaning to talk to you ab-"

"Coffee time!" Rod steps into the living room and places two cups on the small table infront of the other two. He slumps down on the sofa next to Nicky, pushing the green buddy in the middle of his mother and his best friend - the ginger squished up next to Nicholas.

"Rod! Gee, buddy, give me a warning next time you plonk your _sweet ass_ beside me." Nicky instinctively complains with a delicate tone. He blushes shortly after, realizing what he's said.

"So how have you been, Amal?" Rod changes the subject quickly.

She tilts her head slightly, but brushes the comment Nicky made off, "I've been okay. I've missed my baby boy Nicky terribly though. It's so lonely now that he's moved out. " she reminisces softly.

"Aww, well. Nicky thinks about you everyday, Amal. He's always just a call away as well, he doesn't do much during the day at all. I assure you, he'd be up for talking any time of the-"

"I'm gay, mom!" Nicky blurts out loudly, being unable to hold it all in anymore. "I'm in love with Rod!"

A very awkward long silence mellows through room.

"That's one way to come out, Nicky... " Rod mumbles quietly, with raised eyebrows, rubbing his own temples awkwardly.

"Uhm. " Nicky's mother clears her throat. "How long have you been dating him?"

"A couple days. " Nicky's face flusters a hard blush.

Another long, awkward silence prevails.

"Oh sweet suffering Jesus! This is painful. " Rod sits up straight, and groans out, "what have you got to say, Mrs Lyon?"

"I don't know. "

"Well say something please! Listen, I like you, Amal, but it really isn't helping when you're so silent-"

"I don't know what to say, Rod! I wasn't expecting this."

"Say you love him! He's your son, for god sake!" Rod stands up, getting a bit pissed since he knew she was making Nicky upset.

Amal stands up too, becoming defensive, "of course I love him, he knows that!"

"You're not acting like it! Be supportive, he's just told you something personal!"

"He reminds me of his damn father! Being interested in men!"

"How dare you! Nicky isn't defined by his interest in whoever! He's loving, caring, considerate, compassionate- he's absolutely beautiful! Don't you dare speak about him like that. I love him so much."

Nicky starts sobbing uncontrollably, and rushes out of the room, into their bedroom.

Rod breathes out calmly, and adjusts himself emotionally. Nicky's mother sits down, patting her chest down in attempts to calm herself.

"Nicky... " Rod mumbles softly, and steps towards the bedroom door. "Nicky, it's okay, we won't shout anymore... " he softly whispers to him on the other side of the door.

Nicholas opens the door immediately and hugs Rod closely, sobbing onto his shoulder softly. He stays pretty quiet.

"Nicky... " Rod coos gently, with a dainty tone, "everything is alright, I love you." The ginger rubs Nicky's back comfortably.

Amal stares over at the two, admiring and having strong envy to how loving and caring they are together. Nothing like Nicky's father was when he cheated on her with guys - something endearing blossomed between the ginger and the brunette. It was wholesome, and most of all, it was true. Almost destiny.

Nicky eases away from the embrace, and moves his hand to Rod's face, tilting his head upwards so the ginger's lips are closer to his. Rod feels himself become heated, and enticed by the gesture, melting into the touch.

"I love you too, Rod. " Nicky whispers.

They gaze at eachother, amorousness filling the air, leaning closer and closer.

Simultaneously, they both aggressively embrace their lips together, in a yearning, passionate, love-filled smooch. Rod pulls at Nicky's hoodie as they embrace eachother so intimately, bringing him closer and gripping onto him in passion - Nicholas' hands traveling up Rod's back-

" _Boys_. " Amal awkwardly speaks out.

"Mm. " Rod pulls away from the kiss hesitantly, along with Nicky, both of them unable to stop gazing into eachothers eyes.

"I support you, Nicky. And you too, Rod." She smiles.

Rod and Nicky look over at her.

_Nicky smiles. "Thanks, mom."_


	10. Petals in Beauty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A room full of rose petals and serene atmosphere.

Rod tossed and turned in his restful sleep, the night disturbing him - through the harsh rain ambience outside; the echoing of the droplets throwing themselves simultaneously onto the dead ground. The ground that was once alive in the sun yet coldblooded throughout the depths of the evening. 

Rain always made Rod feel uneasy. The shivers he got from just the thought. Although, the noise was somewhat calming, the soaking wet nature of a thunderstorm gave him the creeps. It gave his thoughts hypothermia. Being cold had this malicious effect on the ginger - it made him have sensations of being vulnerable; the clothing sticking to his blue pale skin, and the coldness weakening him blissfully, and indifferently. 

Almost immediately he woke up, his eyes fluttering open, adjusting to the mellow dark lighting. Nicky was not to be seen. 

"Nicky?" Rod called out, quietly however. He had this instinct to always be soft-toned at night. The blue buddy sat up, staring around the room. He stood up afterwards, facing a breeze of coldness at his legs - Nicky had left the window open before going to bed.

Stepping his way with ease to the living room, the ginger continued to listen to the singing of the rain. He felt calm. 

"Nicky...? Hello? Please, do not scare me." Rod whispers out, finally spotting Nicky sat at the table, his head encaved in his arms. "Nicholas. You worried me, jesus dammit." He walks over to his big pal, sitting beside him at the table, however he faces Nicky. "Hey, hey, hey... Nicky...? " he shakes the other a little. 

Nicky jolts up, and sits up straight, being startled by Rod, "oh gosh! Oh... " Nicholas sighs out in relief, "oh you scared me, buddy... "

"What are you doing here? Not in your bed? "

"I couldn't get to sleep. " Nicky confesses softly, turning to face Rod too. 

"The rain, hm? That's what woke me up, haha." Rod reaches over and lays his hand on Nicky's own hand. 

"Not the rain, buddy. That hardly keeps me up, I like the rain." Nicky laughs a little, keeping soft and quiet. He delicately grasps Rod's hand in his, and rubs his thumb over the other's purple tinted knuckles, feeling the softness of the ginger's dainty skin. 

Rod glances down at the gentle touch, a smile curving on his face, "why couldn't you get to sleep then, Nicky?"

Nicky looks around the apartment with his hazel eyes, as if he's trying to avoid the question. 

"Come on, Nicholas. You can tell me anything, pal." He shuffles his chair closer to Nicky's, and looks at his endearing eyes.

Nicky looks back into Rod's eyes, holding onto the others hands with a nimble palm, "I can't stop thinking about you, Rod."

Rod's eyes widen in admiration. How could his buddy be so stupid... Yet so stupidly romantic? He furrows his eyebrows timidly, and a deep blush blooms onto his blue skin on his face. "I'm nothing to lose sleep over, Nicky..."

"You're everything to lose sleep over, baby." Nicky winks at him, grasping onto Rod's other dainty hand. 

Rod loves pet names so damn much. "Don't call me ... that... " he blushes heavily, "you stupid, stupid, sexy, stupid idiot... "

Nicky chuckles out heartily. "Can't help being this charming, baby."

Rod blushes more, and tightens his grasp on Nicky's hands, his eyes darting away from the other's gaze. "Nicky...?" 

"Mhm, bud?"

"Are we boyfriends?" He whispers out, and keeps staring to the side, feeling embarrassed. 

"You gotta ask more clearly, buddy... " Nicky chuckles, loving to tease Rod by getting him to ask. 

"Come on... Just... " he blushes harsher. 

"Mm?"

"Will you be my boyfriend, Nicholas?" Rod asks softly, and quietly, feeling more and more embarrassed. 

"Only if you'll be mine, Rod." 

"Of course I will, stupid... " 

Nicky leans forward slightly, lifting Rod's hands up, kissing his knuckles softly - smooching down to his wrist, his forearm and eventually to his upper arm. 

"Nicky... " The ginger mumbles softly, watching him lovingly kiss all the way up his arm, flustering gently, "you're so sweet~" He coos. 

The green boyfriend moves way closer to Rod, and presses his lips against the ginger's neck-

"Hey, hey! No more... marks!" Rod flusters out delicately, whimpering a bit, "people will notice... "

Nicky rolls his eyes and complies, kissing Rod's cheek lastly, "fine, fine, Rod. You're irresistable, I can't help it." He swoons romantically, flirting with Rod real hard, "you're so irresistable, that I just wanna eat you all up."

"you are such a pervert, Nicky. " Rod embarassedly gazes at him, biting his bottom lip nervously. He finds himself lost for any other words, completely encaptured by Nicky's charm and amorousness, such delicate amouring nature. 

"I'm not a pervert, just hopelessly in love with you, Rod..." Nicky continues to flirt, "Your eyes are bluer than the Atlantic ocean and baby, I'm all lost at sea... " the eager fellow moves his hand to Rod's waist, and slowly down to his thigh. 

Rod sweats profusely as he's more and more enticed, and enamoured by Nicky, feeling his heart echo a hard beat. "Where did you get that one, hm? pickuplines.com?" 

Nicky rolls his eyes at the others act of playing hard to get, "no, it came from.. " he grabs Rod's hand and places it on his chest, where his heart is, "here." 

"..." Rod keeps blushing a lot, feeling Nicholas' beats of his heart, each beat breathing the ginger a breeze of fresh air - the romance blossoming between them. The ginger gazes into Nicky's eyes, butterflies swarming in his tummy. 

Nicky stares back into Rod's eyes, smiling warmly and lovingly at him, "I love the way you stare, Rod." The green boyfriend stands up with ease and picks Rod up, holding him like a bride. 

"Nicky!" Rod whines out softly, "what are you doing?" 

"I want you to be comfy, Rod, buddy. " he takes them both to the sofa and sits the ginger down delicately, and then parks himself next to him. They both turn to face eachother. 

"what you mean is... You're horny. "

"No! What?!" Nicky blushes a lot, nervously staring at him, "where did you get that idea from, Rod?!"

"Moving somewhere more comfortable... " Rod smirks, giggling at the others nervousness. 

"No, that's not why. My ass was hurting from those rock hard chairs, bud! Thought yours was too. " Nicky flusters, looking over at Rod. 

"I guess, Nicky... " Rod chuckles out delicately, looking back at him. 

The green boyfriend shuffles close to Rod, resting his hand on the blue boyfriend's thigh. 

Rod looks down at his hand, and nibbles on his bottom lip, "you are a little though, aren't you?"

"yes.." Nicky whispers. 

"Me too." Rod blushes. 

Nicky leans his lip close to the others, and Rod immediately kisses him softly, closing his eyes with ease. They both passionately make out very shortly after, and Rod moves his hands down to the green boyfriend's trouser zipper, yanking it down-

"Rod, Nicky?" A voice echoes at the door, lighthearted and high pitched. 

"Gosh dammit, why's everybody gotta ruin our time together?" Rod mumbles softly, pulling away from the kiss. 

"Especially when you're so eager~" Nicky winks, and stands up slowly, strolling to the door. 

"Says you, Nicholas." Rod flusters, chuckling daintily. 

"Says the one who was already undressing me." Nicky smirks and unlocks the door, "hold on, person!" He speaks to whoever is outside the door, raising his voice so they could hear him. 

"Hmph." Rod raises his eyebrows, smirking too, stepping behind Nicky. 

Nicky opens the door slowly, and is immediately startled, "the whole fucking gang?!" 

Kate, Princeton, Christmas Eve, Brian, Gary Coleman, and Trekkie, all at their doorstep. 

"What's going on?" Rod sound a little mad. 

"We heard the news!" Kate smiles. 

"What news?" Nicky grunts. 

"YOU BOTH HAVE NOW COME OUT! YAYYY!!!" They all cheer, whilst Trekkie yells out - "gaaayyy!!"

"You guys are a nightmare to live near." Rod grumbles, blushing a lot. "It's 1am!"

"Well we waiting for you guys to coming out so long! We all agreeing that we have party when you do!" Christmas eve adds on, and they all nod their heads. 

"Tomorrow, or something, dammit. Not at 1am." Rod groans out, and steps in front of Nicky at the door, "go away, shoo!" He orders them all. 

"I guess we'll leave you lovebirds to consummate the marriage then..." Brian jokes, most of them chuckle, even Nicky. 

"Yeah, and you will all know about it!" Rod grunts out, and shuts the door. 

"Consummate? What, like eat?" Nicky questions. 

Rod rolls his eyes, and blushes a little, "Nicky, n-no. No, that's not what it means." He giggles slightly, turning around to face him.

"Marriage, also? We aren't married." Nicky giggles softly, wrapping his arms around Rod's waist. 

"N-no... Ha. " Rod nervously adds. The thought of being married to Nicky overwhelmed him with emotional sensations - from excitement, to crying with joy, to long-term happiness. He truly felt so young and free with Nicky - and so damn in love passionately. 

"We will be someday." Nicky whispers to him, delicately into his ear. 

Rod tears up emotionally, and wipes his eyes immediately, "Nicky, you don't know how happy you truly make me."

"I have an idea, Rod... " Nicky smiles heartily, chuckling daintily at how emotional his boyfriend was getting. "I make you happy just as much as you make me happy."

"How can you be this perfect, Nicky?!" Rod sobs a little harder, and grabs Nicholas' face, kissing his boyfriends face all over out of uncontrollable love, "mwah~ I love you mwah~ so mwuh~ much" 

"Awww, Rod!" Nicky giggles delicately, "stop being so cute, or I'm going to have to hug you so hard and kiss you so much!"

"That isn't even a threat!" Rod pulls away from kissing his face, and crosses his arms, huffing.

Nicky grabs Rod's waist , picking him up ubruptly and throws him gently over his shoulder, holding onto the back of Rod's thighs, "I'll just hold you like this then, bud!" Nicholas chuckles softly, holding onto him tightly. 

"AHH! Fuck you, Nicky!! Put me down!!" Rod whines out softly, kicking his legs up and down shortly, "Now!!!"

"Can't hear ya!" He grips Rod's thighs tighter, restricting his legs, "you're so fragile, baby!"

"NICHOLAS! I SWEAR TO GAY!" Rod blushes heavily, trying to wave his legs, and waving his hands. "Put me down, put me down, you imbecile!!" He huffs out, smirking slowly as he presses his finger tips against Nicky's sides, tickling him immediately after. 

"Rod-" Nicky whimpers out amiably, giggling at the tickles, delicately putting Rod down back on the ground instantly, "mm, don't-"

"Hm?" Rod scoffs softly, and smirks widely, "you like it, don't you?"

"no? No! No, Rod. Hah!" Nicky blushes a lot, flustering at the comment. 

"You get off to it, don't you? "

"NO! No! What?! Rod, you're a pervert." Nicky flusters heavily, and crosses his arms tightly. "We should go to bed, now!"

"Jeez, Nicky, you're that desperate?"

"I meant to sleep!!"

"Oh sure, Nicky... " Rod chuckles gently.


	11. Troubles ponder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rod confines himself to his past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about not consistently posting, I have tons of work due to lockdown and I'm doing GCSE's! I have been feeling very drained, exhausted and upset because of this quarantine, and being reminded of my past a lot just makes me feel worse. But I'm so glad for you guys, and my buds because sharing my writing and art with y'all makes me feel very content - especially when I get such appreciation from you guys <3 I love you, guys <3

Another night, Nicky's breath pressed against Rod's neck as they cuddle closely together during their period of rest ; their legs intertwined daintily, Rod's hands draped across Nicky's back - whilst the green boyfriend's hands are neatly placed ontop of the ginger's backside, pulling him closer bit by bit through the night - not completely intentionally, almost as if it were instinct. 

The blue boyfriend presses his face gently against Nicky's chest, mumbling a few incoherent words in his sleep, stroking his fingertips against his lover's spine - as he begins this action unconsciously, Nicky feels the tingle roll up his body and immediately wakes up, giggling because it tickled him senselessly.

"Rod- Gee, buddy-" Nicholas glances down at his boyfriend's sleeping expression and body language, blushing a little out of adoration for how adorable the ginger was. It made him heated thinking about how closely intimate they are right now, and he tried not to think about it too much before he got overly excited.  
'Sleepy Rod... ' he thoughtfully processes through his mind, smiling widely and warmly, admiring him deeply.

He gently smooches Rod's forehead, and then sits up slowly, the ginger groaning slightly at his warmth from Nicky disappearing. 

"Mmmm... Nicholas, put your hand there... " Rod whispers in his sleep, and cuddles up further to Nicky subconsciously, resting his hand on the other's tummy. 

The green boyfriend's stomach fills with butterflies and nervousness, feeling a deep admiration for his boyfriend. "Rod, you awake, buddy?" He whispers back delicately. The ginger doesn't respond, obviously, as he's snoozing away in a deep rest. 

"gee, Rod... " Nicky mumbles softly, blushing heavily and he strokes the blue boyfriend's golden ginger hair with ease, each strand flowing in between Nicky's fingers. Rod purrs softly, leaning into the touch, waking up slowly from the stroking. 

"Nicky mmm..?" Rod flutters his eyes open, staring up at him with half lidded eyes. 

"Hi, Rod.. " Nicky smiles widely at him and sits up straight, holding Rod close. 

"You're sweaty. " Rod mumbles, half asleep. 

Nicky grumbles at Rod's comment, "that's the first thing you say, buddy, when you wake up to me? Not that I look sexy?"

"but it's true... You're sticking to me.. " The ginger giggles, and sits up slowly, rubbing his eyes tiredly. "God, it's 4am... " Rod groans softly.

"You're sweaty too, Rod... Come on, we're sharing body heat." Nicky whines out, not wanting Rod to stop being close to him. "It's 4am, which means nobody else is awake, Rod, Buddy.. "

"Well duh, who would be awake at 4am besides me and you-?" Rod grumbles out, shortly interrupted by Nicky shuffling very close to Rod, placing his arms either side of Rod's hips. "what are you doing-?" Rod blushes a lot, feeling his heart flutter. 

"Nothin'... " Nicholas mumbles softly and shuffles in front of Rod, moving the ginger's legs apart, as he moves closer to Rod. 

"You're obviously up to something... Nicky..." Rod sweats a little, watching as Nicky gets closer - embracing the heat against his body. 

"Let's have sex again!"

"Ah! Jeez, Nicky!" Rod blushes heavily, and leans a little backwards, feeling tempted. "It's 4am... We might wake someone up.. "

"who cares, bud? Remember the time Princeton and Kate were... "

"Yes! Yeah, ew, I remember... " Rod mutters out delicately; as Nicky drapes his thumb across Rod's face, down from his cheek to his lip. "Nicholas-"

"It's all right, Rod... " Nicky smiles widely, softly whispering to Rod, whilst pressing his thumb gently against the other's lips. 

"Nicky! You're more eager than a dog waiting to go on a walk!" Rod blushes more, and closes his own legs appropriately, huffing out embarassedly. "Your masculinity is frightening, Nicky! Testosterone levels through the roof... "

"Way to lay into me, buddy! I just... I'm... I'm so attracted to you in every way." Nicky groans a little and slowly grabs Rod's hand, kissing it softly. "I love you... " he whispers gently. 

"Nicky... " his breathing softens and he stares at Nicky's attempts to woo him. "I love you too..." He relaxes slowly, and spreads his legs gradually. "You're a sweetheart."

Nicky moves himself back in between Rod's legs, gazing down at him intimately. "Only for you." Nicholas leans down with ease and presses his lips against Rod's holding him closely. The ginger smooches back with no hesitation, as Nicky trails his hands down Rod's sides, slowly laying the blue boyfriend down on the bed. "You're cute." He softly whispers, as he pulls away from the embrace of their lips. 

"I'm not cute... " Rod mumbles delicately, gazing up at him with a flushed, embarrassed expression. "Fuck, Nicky. Stop being so sweet... Ahh... " The ginger blushes more. 

"C'mere.. " Nicholas presses his face against Rod's neck, and smooches it delicately, "love you.. " he whispers daintily into the ginger's ear. 

Rod shivers in delight, and leans back on the bed comfortably, closing his eyes whilst the other does all the work. "Oh.. Oh I love you too... Oh sweet jesus!"

"You're nervous, aren't you?" Nicky gently asks, as he pulls away from ease from his boyfriend's neck, looking down at him admirably. 

"No, why would I be?" Rod breathes out softly. 

"Because I'm such a sexy bastard! Just kidding! I was just making sure, buddy, I don't want you all nervous and shakey... " Nicky assures him amiably. 

"Well I'm perfectly not nervous." Rod assertively replies. 

"Good!... Because I think the others could hear us outside..." Nicky smiles embarrassedly. 

"What do you mean?!" Rod shrieks, sitting up immediately, looking towards the open window beside them. He spots the group gathered outside, having a small party in the near distance, but all looking towards their window. "God dammit!" Rod grumbles angrily and rushes to the window. "CAN'T WE GET SOME DAMN PRIVACY IN OUR OWN HOUSE?! JESUS, I CAN'T EVEN SPEND TIME WITH HIM IN BED WITHOUT YOU GUYS GETTING INTO OUR GOSH DARN BUSINESS!! I DON'T INTERRUPT KATE AND PRINCETON WHEN THEY'RE GOING AT IT - BUT NOOOOO, YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE ME AND NICKY TO- TO-" Rod flusters out, adjusting himself promptly.

"Jeez, Rod, no need to get so angry." Kate speaks back, laughing a little uncontrollably. 

"I have plenty reason to get angry, Kate Monster!" Rod groans out frustratedly. "Seriously, me and Nicky need to move out, find a better place to live! Somewhere where... " Rod stops himself, seeing Ricky in the distance with them, looking over at him, shutting the window instantly. The ginger suddenly feels himself become more reserved, staring out the window as the group all turn to talk to eachother. 

"Rod, it's all right, they don't really care. Besides, we can just get some curtains, buddy. " Nicky steps over to him with ease and tries to grab one if Rod's shoulders comfortingly. 

The blue boyfriend swipes Nicky's hand away and steps a little to the side. "Just. Leave me alone, Nicky. Okay? Just for... Just. " Rod turns away and walks to his bed, holding his arms. 

"Hm? " Nicky frowns a lot, feeling a bit heartbroken. "Rod, I... It's all right, honestly, buddy. They're only gonna joke about it, is all... " He walks over to the ginger leisurely. 

"I don't care about the goddamn jokes, Nicholas!" Rod raises his voice slightly, and then clears his throat. "I'm sorry.. It's just... Just... Ricky.. Is there. Ricky is still hanging around with them. "

"So? Buddy, you and him are history. He can't just move away just because you broke up...? " Nicky slowly grabs Rod's hand, trying to comfort him lovingly. 

"Our relationship was... Horrible, Nicky. You don't understand.. " Rod stares up at Nicky then towards the window, "there's a lot of shit you don't know."

"Well tell me, then... Rod... " Nicholas tightens his grip on the ginger's hand. "We don't keep secrets, okay? No matter how embarrassing it is... Okay? I'll tell you a secret of mine as well, so you don't feel pressured.. "

"Can you say yours first? Please?" Rod hesitates, holding Nicky's hand back tightly. 

"Well uhm." Nicky blushes a bit. "I want to kiss you right now."

"That isn't much of a secret." Rod giggles a bit, admiring Nicky's innocence. 

"I don't really have secrets, buddy, hah..." Nicky gazes down at Rod, and brings his hand up to Rod's face, stroking his cheek nimbly. "Well, this is dumb, but I really like seeing you angry sometimes, it's attractive."

"Nicky! That's... " Rod blushes a lot vigorously, "that's embarrassing."

"Well, it's true, buddy, hah!... Are you ready to tell your secret now?"

"The past has no meaning, in reality, especially when it's negatively fueled. But uhm. Mine and Ricky's relationship was truly so awful - on both ends... First of all, I was very controlling and he didn't like that at all - because I like to have organization, if something gets out of my control, it upsets me, and he never understood that. When we kissed, I moaned your name, and he got really mad about it. Then he started being controlling as well, and started touching me when I didn't want it... Uhm. It was just a huge mess and we were both assholes. It was a fight for control, because we both had toxic masculinity. So I really don't want to be around him because he's seen me literally at my very worst and I've seen him at his absolute worst too... He makes me feel... Sick, you know? Like I can't eat... He... Nevermind. " 

"Woah. Buddy... I had no idea... I love you, you know that? " Nicky awkwardly inputs, now feeling very concerned for his love. "Well uh.. Hah... Uh it's all in the past now... But we really need to talk about what he did- "

"It is. Yeah." Rod cuts in, feeling awkward and vunerable too now. 

"I'd never be like that to you, Nicky, I hope you know that..." Rod tries and breaks the awkward tension. 

"I do know that, buddy. It's just surprising to me, is all... We need to talk about i- " 

"I love you, Nicky. It was just a bad time in my life... " Rod holds Nicky's hands tightly. 

"I love you too, Rod. I'm not gonna base you on your mistakes, okay? You're a beautiful man, inside and out. However I just wanna talk-" Nicky sweetly responds , as Rod embraces him in a hug. 

Rod holds him tightly, closing his eyes as the green boyfriend embraces him back. 

"Let's move away, Nicky! Let's go to- to Las Vegas, and spend the rest of our lives with eachother!"

"Woah, Rod! Are you drunk, hah? Please, just talk ab-" Nicky smiles widely, but stares down at him concernedly. 

"I'm serious, Nicholas! We don't have to go to Las Vegas, we can go to California or-or it doesn't even have to be in America! We can go to the UK, or Japan, or France... " Rod wraps his arms around Nicky's waist.

"ROD! Listen to me-!" Nicky raises his voice a bit and holds the ginger by the shoulders. 

Rod cowers a bit, looking down to the floor, silent.

"I'm sorry I had to raise my voice." Nicky moves his hands down to Rod's own hands, and holds them delicately and supportively. "You don't have to tell me everything, Rod."

"It makes me sick." 

"I know it does, Rod. But I'm here for you." Nicky softly whispers, and holds his hands tighter, his eyes clustering up with tears.

"I don't want you to think I'm some sort of... Weak... I... I don't know.. Some weak, vunerable idiot." Rod keeps staring down to the floor, his voice shaking. 

"You're not. I love you. Everything about you." Nicky starts softly sobbing uncontrollably, trying to keep himself quiet. "It's not your fault, Rod... I love you..."

Rod slowly looks up at Nicky, wiping away his love's tears slowly.

"You never deserve to be hurt in any way! Especially like that." Nicky wraps his arms around Rod's torso passionately. "I love you..."

"I just want to forget it ever happened. I can't eat or sleep... Can we both just forget...?" Rod speaks lowly. 

"I wish we could.. But he should be shamed for what he did. Everyone should know-"

"NO! No! Nicky, it hurts that YOU even know. " Rod pulls away from the hug and rubs his own arms leisurely. 

"Okay, okay.. All right, Rod. I love you. Okay? I do. I hate him. He never deserved you." Nicky wipes his own eyes hysterically and holds his partners shoulder's with ease. 

"I'm always here, Rod, I always am. I'm always going to love you, care for you, be here for you... Be the best gosh darn boyfriend ever! I promise. You're everything to me, you really are."


End file.
